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One even told me (somewhat paraphrased), “I can’t wait to meet you on the end of this journey when you realize none of this mattered.”
Essentially, everything you’re seeing now never mattered.
Like I’m an exception to someone “like me,” being a person who could be injured, simply because a presumably mentally healthy individual knows me, as in, the possibility is centered around their relationship with me.1
Someone “like me,” … is me.
It’s Not My Fault That No One Ever Feels Like They Get Results
It’s not my fault that no one ever feels like they get results, but, my advice has always been to not play the game the abusers set up.
It almost forces victims, by ridiculous social decree, to constantly minimize the abuser’s damages lest they “become an abuser” which…
Guys…
No, they fucking don’t.
The time for that shit has passed. Look around you.
Look at all the cruelty trying to be sold to you as you scroll, except, it isn’t your dollars, it’s whoever will pay for your attention, or, if not you, then your children’s attention.
Wake up!
The time is now to shut that shit down, stop this crap, stop ignoring hurt people for ‘content,’ stop forcing the relationships you want out of others with sock puppets (which I never made), and stop the fucking bullshit of protecting fucking trolls because doxxing is “inherently bad.” (a non-thesaurus word for intrinsic value)
It’s not.
Also, the trolls don’t give a shit about doxxing people, so why should you?
“Being a better person” is a scam they tell you so you can feel good about “taking it.”
Liana finally acted, after 17 months, only after we ridiculed her, and, well “doxxed”(not the actual definition)Liana Kerzner… like the fucking troll she is.
And that definitely makes us “terrible people,” particularly me, who’s a tragically “terrible person,” no matter how much she sputters on Patreon. She still wrote it on BlueSky! But, well, they said I’d never get results… and, no, I wouldn’t have.
I’ve been saying this since I was fucking 21. Just actually ASK my husband, Maus.
I do NOT pronounce it “MA-oos” like an old white lady at an opera recital says “PAY-blo,” and I never have.
The Time Is Now To Say No
The time is now to set one giant fucking huge boundary, happily, and say, “No.”
Victims don’t “become” abusers for revealing their abusers. Are you fucking kidding me?
They’re still victims, the abuser already exists. There is no need to invent a new one.
Go to the one that already exists.
Besides, the truth isn’t abuse. That’s why it’s legal, at least, in the United States of America… mostly, for now.
If you don’t like that, then don’t fuck with an American who doesn’t give a shit about any other country’s laws. I don’t owe you comfort in your own fucking country.
Telling other people what someone did to you, when factual, isn’t abuse.
Heck, as long as you make it clear what is and isn’t your opinion or lack of memory, you can say a lot.
Speculation is a thing, just ask Kiwi Farms what I told them. Calling me a pedophile like it’s a fact though, that’s a poor choice.
When people tell other people what abusers did, and other people sputter, balk, or defend… themselves and their identities? that, it’s important to remember that there are times for empathy.
I was punished for asking this question and sticking to my principles, because I refused to take on the responsibility for Jessica crossing her own “boundary.”
This is a licensed therapist with a Master’s in Counseling.
This responsibility was absolutely demanded in an incredibly manipulative way.
I said, “I do not need to buy into this narrative that I’m the bad guy,” and said, “fuck off,” much like she does… TO EVERYBODY.
I was punished, by Saige’s wife Audrey Crawford, for having the audacity, allegedly, to lump poor smol beanSaige Alexis (VividFaeGarden) into a list of people I had been dealing with that had all, fairly recently, and all in their own ways, aired their grievances and bashed on people somewhat like I was doing in my own way.
I did this in an effort to show that I was being described as especially different, when, in reality, I wasn’t.
It wasn’t that hard to figure out, unless, you are the main character, and I’m just a side character nobody. Saige, honey, if you’re that smol bean, get off the fucking Internet, like I’m supposed to.
Don’t forget to take your meds sweetie!
This was NOT a reply to me. We’d already parted ways, but, because I have to direct my audience’s attention, notice the date.
It was pretty clear, but that wasn’t really the complaint was it?
From my point of view it was a mission to sniff out what I was “trying to accomplish” and how it was going to fit into their model of “discourse,” and how I shouldn’t be crying about my nothingburger “Twitter beef” because Saige was the biggest victim of everything.
Even later, Saige and Audrey, Mrs. Anti-Authoritarianism who has “The Personal is Aggressively Political” on her profile, like, DUH, what else would it be!? … Oh, it’d be mine.
I’ve been there Saige, and girl, I know it’s hard, but you gotta get a grip.
It can take years, believe me, I know, but… oh, sorry, I forgot you’ll never believe someone who “brags” like a pathetic goon about going to the hospital 17 times because he was trying to indicate he had some experience too. Oh no, that doesn’t look good in front of the lefties, I mean, tankies, I mean, normies, I mean, furries, I mean…
It won’t happen until you stop blaming others for your own lack of “emotional autonomy”(whatever the fuck that means).
That’s a problem between you and your own emotional disturbance.
And Audrey, I didn’t do anything but talk about your wife and you, in my own space. Oh, and I replied once to this, which is still on your wall. That got me banned me from everywhere:
Surprise Liana, I’m actually NOT blaming you! Now, go, show everybody how much you need me to blame you.
Oh, neither did Maus. But an ANONYMOUS messenger did and you took that bait, that you now say is from Kiwi Farms, and read that shit on Sauga960 AM, mocking it to the normies like a fucking troll, and then lied about it, saying the episode wasn’t about us at all.
Sidenote: Everyone Should Know That Bianca (@MyselfAndComics), Audrey, and Saige Enable Abuse
Oh, on a side note, remember what you (sorry, if you read the caption, we’re back to Audrey now)… or at least one of you in this bundle of nerves, said, and you supported?
My little ADHD neurodivergent brain loves side notes.
You, and Bianca, said, that you (to paraphrase) “knew aalll about our situation.”
So you knew that all of this was happening, and what it was, and what I was going through.
Good to fucking know.
Good for everyone to fucking know!
I know, I know, I’ve erased the context that you don’t “engage” like Poppy anymore. (Did you notice the date?)
Maybe, next time, if that’s not true, instead of making it MY PROBLEM, you might think twice before shoving that in my stupid face while you don’t even recognize my husband’s account.
Am I *checks notes* manipulating the situation again, somehow, in the vaguest of vague hand wavey vague vagues ever?
I have never figured this one out, sounds like a blanket get out of jail free card because NOBODY but the villain manipulates any situation.
If you now look bad… well…
Do not apologize to me!
Do not!
Listen to Bianca this time!
You *know* it won’t go well so I can only assume you want to be a victim of something.
Punished By Willy/Wyles For “Insane Levels Of Faggotry”
Willy/Wyles called this claim “insane levels of faggotry” and I knocked him so hard he contemplated suicide and I was banned for three days, because, I reserve the worst treatment for women, or so everyone else is told. It’s just the worst ever.
News to me!
So, Audrey, you’re not going to get that sweet sweet altruist moral significance off me. I will *never* accept your apology. Ever.
Should’a thought’a that.
Get fucked, uh, gal.
Anyways,
Moral Theater
It’s never actually about much of anything of substance except moral theater. It’s all moral theater so people can pat themselves on the back for believing the “right things,” calling themselves morally lucky.
If you’re morally lucky, then, you didn’t have to work at all to have morals, which… makes no sense to me.
What? Your magical omniscient conscience tells you what’s right and wrong, keeping you from being a sociopath?2
It’s all a show.
And you know it. Stop lying.
Why else defend yourself from the very real grievances of an emotionally disturbed person, who told everybody they were emotionally disturbed as if, yes, Giancarlo, he wanted people to treat him as if he’s insane.
You see, contrary to the ignorance Liana spreads, you can be aware something is wrong with you, like having extreme and sometimes strange (“inappropriate”) emotional reactions to things that are fully believable, and still end up falling prey to them.
It’s a bit like managing trauma triggers when you have PTSD. There’s a reason people gave up on psychoanalysis exclusively solving people’s problems. You can know the problem, but that doesn’t solve it.
Unless you’re inconvenient to Liana. Then, depending on what message Liana is trying to convey that day, only she ever has uncontrollable responses that somehow never seem to ever be managed…except, when, they’re not really trauma responses. Then she was just pissed off and in control… months later.
It’s an act. It’s not that hard guys. Just pretend you’re not you.
We’re not all trying to meet bullshit expectations of fucking trolls who run around calling everybody retarded you terminally online trolls *breathes*
Why else use these shitnacular streamer-brained tabloid tactics on people who might not fully understand what they’re getting into?
Cause it’s a fabulous dramatic show?
Is that why they put bright streaks in their hair and wear high contrast shades of lipstick?
This Attack Of The Show Sucks
A show I never wanted to be part of, and still don’t today. It’s not profitable in the slightest, as it’s not that different from large corporations fucking people over.
It’s just democratized.
Every little interaction we have now does not *have* to be commoditized, but dang isn’t that sweet currency good? Even Saige complains about this, except, she strips autonomy away as usual by saying we’re “trained.” Oooh, dangerous and deep hot take there!
No, girl, we’re not, you just got bamboozled into thinking you can’t make decisions.
And not every little public interaction that you willingly post has a “right to be forgotten” (there isn’t one) or has a right to a magical pseudo public privacy or private public..ly?
If public info isn’t public…
Then what the fuck is it?
No, girl, again, you just got bamboozled into thinking you can democratize dystopian information control.
And Matt Mullenweg won’t agree after someone exposed his messages that he sent to someone else (so, it *involves* them), but, not everything has to be private just because someone else sent it to you, especially when it’s harmful and abusive.
I have always been the most self-centered, self-involved, and philosophically selfish person I’ve known.
I don’t hide this. “Who says THAT?” right? Well, have you ever wondered WHY I don’t hide this?
All of this is why.
Like Maus’ friend Foomf says, I do this to let people know EXACTLY what they’re getting into. I tell people exactly what I’m doing.
Liana Kerzner doesn’t do this. On purpose. She says she’s learned she needs to “speak sooner,” as if it’s just, oops. That’s a very nice way to put that she didn’t give us an opportunity to make an informed decision about our friendship until after it was over.
I said this like, 10 months ago, when I was *phabtbtrbgbtgbgbtgbtgb*-ing.
So I did it for her; like a responsible adult.
And we’re hitting levels here where I am repulsed, and punished at every turn, by the outrageous audacities people are parading around now like they’re cute or meaningful, when they sound like sociopathic trolls.
I quote,
I am not the danger.
Ignore my warnings about this person, now, at your own peril.
And, side note, when you talk like you talk, or hear anyone with any ‘mental health’ authority talk in ways that run parallel to how Louis speaks here, that should really make you pause, and think. And yes, that’s who you sound like.
You think you sound cute, or edgy, or cool, sassy, you got it down girl, show them assholes, but in actual reality, outside your head and clique, you sound like a scary, very real, and most likely sociopathic, bigot.
When I, the one saying that one should always act in your own best self-interest, the one that says “fuck altruism,” the one that never sacrifices himself, says that?
You should fucking worry.
But,
What the fuck do I know right?
I’ll never get results… after all. (/s for those that can’t read between lines like Liana feigns)
One Last Thing, Just Don’t
One last thing, if I can even dare to ask something of anyone after all of this…
I wrote this before, but, you know, who the fuck cared about the “bad crazy” (literally part of her brand) ramblings of Mr. Misogyny (formerly the dysfunctional leader of the Gruesome Twosome):
Please, for the love of all things humane, do not come to me.
Do not come to me to apologize, to yell at me, to ask me to take something down, to fawn over me…
Or to console me, OMG please please please DO NOT DO THIS…
I do not care if I’m “not alone” in this and I “wasn’t the only one”(TransTruthTeller, @LianaDoesntKare or whoever tried this shit), and for the love of anything don’t tell me I’m a “good person” and I should “really know that, for sure,” like you’re enlightening me.
You’re not, you’re just insecure.
Fuck off.
These do not mean to me whatever they mean to you, which is great, but that’s you.
Not, fucking, me no matter who the fuck tells you otherwise.
Do not come to me for support, I’m not going to be like, “You go girl, I’m outta that game, said my peace, so leave me out of it, but I support your efforts you queen” while I subtweet your efforts live going…
I was going to use the Shirley Temple giggle GIF, but, I found an image, from a collection of tens of thousands of images that make me an obsessive weirdo.
“Stalker-Chan“ Strikes Again, Three Years Late, To The Day
It’s Emily Schooley using it to say almost EXACTLY the same thing she said at 5:57 PM, on Apr 20, 2026, at, well, 12:57 PM on April 17, 2023, almost three years earlier to the day:
Weird!
If you *want* that streamer-brained look-how-important-I-am bullshit, go to Emily Schooley, as she really seems to like it, thanks. And round and round and round you can go, feeling like your the main character because fucking trolls talk about you on a thread a mile long.
The thing is, and I’ve written this the fuck before… so, actually, I’ll just quote it:
There is no “Game Plus” mode, and you’re not the main character. This is real life, with real stakes, as has always been the case, and I take it very seriously. Everyone else should probably start doing the same.
Unless you want a nuclear winter, leave me the fuck alone, ’cause I don’t play this shitty ass game, and I never fucking wanted to.
I’m not here to be important by decree.
If you feel like you just HAVE to talk to me, go to my husband Maus, but if you do any of the above, do NOT expect a warm result, and no, you not believing me and thinking you’re the one is,
Mr. Fucking Misogny’s mother, you know, the one who taught him to hate women? Well, she taught Mr. Misogyny, which is me, a very important lesson I took to heart when her little emotionally disturbed child was very young and people could already tell I didn’t need to be ~special~ … I just was.
She told me that when you have a friend, someone who you think is deserving of your love and virtue, then you give that love, virtue, support, and affection without ever expecting anything back. That whatever you feel compelled to do for your friend, to make them laugh, to enjoy their company, to help them, you never expect anything back unless there’s a prior agreement beforehand.
I took that to heart.
When I’d hang out with my actual real life friends, some from presumably great secure homes, and some from not-so-great insecure chaotic homes (the latter one more into high school), we’d do all sorts of things. One time I showed up, out of the blue, to his surprise (and at first annoyance) to one of my friend’s trailers.
He said, “You know who’s back there?”
And I said, almost laughing (even though he looked exhausted and annoyed), “Yo mama?” ’cause it was a giant running joke.
And he said, “Yeah, actually.”
It was a tough time, the person he was living with (not his mother at the time) was having some kind of mental crisis, which, I didn’t know anything about. So finally, I sat down, and we painted Warhammer miniatures terribly for not much reason, because, what the fuck were we going to do with it in Granby?
But, you had to try and do something right?
And we laughed, listening to Robert Fulghum’s “Everything I Needed To Know I Learned In Kindergarten” on cassette tape on an old radio above the fridge, as two teenage boys do in a bleak, but scenic, small town trailer court in 1998.
I have an extraordinarily good memory, except, of course, when I’m getting shocked in the brain as part of electro-convulsive therapy.
Point is, I would’ve never thought, in a million years, that I was going to get something back from that.
I never, ever, even at 12, wanted any of my friends to ever feel like they owed me something just because I was their friend.
Not the kid who sounded like he’d smoked 10 packs a day for 40 years. Not the kid who refused to shower, ever, because of some issue (someone had to point it out to me, and I said, “Oh! THAT’S why he smells!” and then I still talked to him like anybody else to their great confusion). Not my three friends who ended up being trans. Not anyone in The Clasheerian Order.
What. The. Fuck?
Like an autistic everyone THINKS I am but no actual licensed professional doctor wants to diagnose me as,
I thought everybody KNEW this?
Some people, some middle-aged presumably healthy mature completely responsible people haven’t learned this fucking lesson that I, an emotionally disturbed adult who hopes people can take just a touch of care with me if they can, learned,
At the age of 9.
That’s sad.
Extraordinarily sad.
If you look over all of this, ACTUALLY look over all of this, without the specter of Liana hanging over youlike she has me, this is what you’ll see:
I only ever followed my mother’s lesson: I gave love, affection, and support to those that reciprocated my values, that I felt understood me (they told me in so many words), and who I thought deserved it. Not everyone deserves it all the time. It’s not some objective quota here.
And I never really expected anything back, and I didn’t make demands for it.
But, uh, I never expected to be punished for it because absurdly certain people, in their own minds, who can’t see past their own noses to see anyone else, can’t fathom anyone not being as gross, conniving, resentful, petty, transactional, and optics-oriented as them.
Fuck your repayments for me simply trying to be your friend without constantly saying thank you, my lord, for paying attention to lowly old broken nobody me… I only say “thank you for paying attention to me” at the end of long-winded, overinvolved, 7-hour philosophical conversations with friends, by the way.
Not whatever your bullshit was.
Fuck all of you.
Addendum
The Long-Winded-As-Fuck Obviously-Manic Twitter Thread Of A Broken Body
And here it is, slightly edited (some for clarity and typos), just like the bad ol’ days months ago:
The only people who know what happened to any degree are my mother, who witnessed the aftermath, Pablo, my therapists, and Liana Kerzner. Since I know no one will bother to look, which Kerzner knows as well, this is exactly what I wrote:1
People often talk about a thing called determinism. It’s a philosophical way of talking about destiny or fate. People are “determined” to be or do one thing or another based on factors such as upbringing, class, social status, genetics, heredity,3 physical characteristics, spirituality/god, etc. You essentially are what you are by some freak accident of chance, and you can never change it, and you’ll always end up doing what you are “meant” to do no matter what.4
Most of the individuals that really champion this idea are usually pretty well off, have some special talent, see themselves as superior (and thus deserve to exploit others), or at least not in any danger of failing, suffering, or dying. How convenient!5
Scott’s [ED: My father] father was an envious man and a bit strange. He once tried to tame a wild skunk. Scott was an envious man and angry. Unfortunately, I inherited Scott’s anger and its sources: envy and frustration. Scott was a very envious person.6
I am, too, and I’ve tried to “hide” it for a long time. But, you know, after everything that’s happened or hasn’t happened in my life, I’m done with hiding. [ED: Note the last phrase.]7
I will admit the truth: I am a very envious person. I’m not proud of that, but I’m not exactly ashamed of it either at this point. It just is, right now. That’s life. I’ll get to this more later.8
People have no idea. Many get so comfortable with things being pretty straightforward in their lives (though they rarely think it) that they make many judgments based on that comfort when they have no idea.9
I’m so tired. I am so, so tired. I’m so tired of depression, anxiety, intelligence, and the ensuing cluster B personality disorder. And yes, I have a personality disorder. I am a disturbed person. People have no idea. I’ve always struggled with this.10
I know the ways that people think about me, the stories and identities they construct for themselves because they’ve told me all of it either to make fun of me or to make me conform to their interpretation:11 a goody-two-shoes high achiever naive white-bread soft pussy genius that’s never had to suffer or work hard a day in his life, is “only book smart, not street smart,” that doesn’t understand hard edge druggy subversive underground counterculture12 and only lives to be a good capitalist peon appeasing the man and advancing prestigious western civilization by contributing to society with the proper values and ethic.13
[ED: Wait. Wait wait wait… as in, not the scum of the earth? Why would they say that?]
I never really got to fully be the person I really was to everyone around me growing up because I was this ethereal creature whose societal specter I just described hung over him all the time. Nobody knew what to do with me or sometimes wanted to have anything to do with me.14 Sound familiar?
The reality is very different. I am not that person. I have never really been that person. I can sure as hell LOOK like that person, and I can even ACT like that person if I wanted, perhaps to my benefit, but I’m NOT THAT PERSON.15
The shitty person I just described makes me want to do this: 🤮.16
2,050 words into Determinism, by Asher Wolfstein, published on June 10, 2025, thirty-five days into his ECT treatment.
The following are the paragraphs that have been quoted, by trolls (including one from her community, the only reason they’re aware of me), by my sociopathic stalker (I use that term carefully), on record, factually, and then,17 like Joshua Moon on his stream, reading in whatever they want, or even simply pulling out a fantasy from the depths of their twisted mind, and then stating I wrote it.18
Expand For Video Description
Here, Joshua Moon (aka Null) features a "minor individual" on a "popular" but small thread on KiwiFarmsDotNet. That individual is Liana Kerzner, host of nottherapyshow.com, who defends me, Asher Wolfstein, regarding a blog post I wrote at the time.
This is an example of several Tweets Liana would write about Kiwi Farms by name, and me, even though I never asked her to do so. I was uncomfortable, but I was also appreciative because she was supporting me.
Later, Liana Kerzner would claim that I repeatedly provoked Kiwi Farms and made things worse for everyone. So bad, in fact, it's unfeasible to restart her game project after she cancelled it, blaming my mental health struggles that, frankly, didn't exist the way she frames them.
She states as much in this video that kicked off a seven month mental health stigma perpetuation in response to me making any kind of fuss about the lies she told and setting the record straight.
Liana Kerzner purports to be an advocate for a "safe, dignified, and inclusive" social space for queer, neurodivergent, and mentally struggling individuals. She is now engaging in a laconic campaign of mental health stigma against me because I dared to set my own boundary and not be reshaped by her advice.
I don't "set boundaries." I have them and enforce them for myself. It's unnecessary to "set them," for others, I do it for myself. I finally "set" one boundary, making it clear, an actual boundary, not a demand. I disagreed with her assessment. That's it. This has been her response to my one boundary.
She couldn't handle the fact that I disagreed with her assessment of my "problem," before the cancellation video, so she made a cancellation video to drive the point home.
This is the Liana Kerzner I have come to know: a perpetrator of mental health stigma, repeating narratives from Kiwi Farms she knows are false (we talked about it repeatedly), all to silence me from pointing out that she put out 3 fundamental lies about me in the cancellation video.
I must not be a person. I must be a disturbed, dangerous individual who displays an "unacceptable" lack of impulse control. This misrepresentation of my mental health, character, and behavior has spread out from her to others who make, frankly, gross and highly inaccurate slice-and-dice "memes" about me being a child molester (implying this is an interest of mine and an ongoing problem), which, aren't true, and aren't proven to be true. In fact, the opposite has been shown throughout my life. No suspicions, complaints, thoughts, expressions, investigations, defenses, nothing. Look for yourself, it ain't there.
In fact, she knows I was kicked out of my local furry group (a big deal to me at the time) because I called out the fact that a registered sex offender was hosting minors in his hot tub. She commiserated with this.
These are all lies. A false reality being pushed by a self-appointed "authority," or at least a "mental health influencer," against a legally disabled, "at-risk," and vulnerable mentally ill gay eccentric (me). Someone who's never had a problem with anyone this prolonged, this public, and of this magnitude before.
[ED: As you can see, it’s not about highlighting shit opinions about women that attack their looks. As in, it’s not about Liana’s problems or insecurities. As in, I’m not at the center of all her misery, unlike she claims about me.]
2,575 words into a 7,507 word post. And this was read carefully by both of us, as I made it abundantly clear to Liana what the issue was. She’s called it since “incomprehensible.” Well, we shall see.19
There are so many things I am aware of or know that others (even those close to me) have no idea I know or have to carry around, and there are so many things I’ve seen or done that others aren’t even aware of, bizarre and terrible things I can’t just come out and say (and won’t).20
I will give one example, though: I have sexual violence in my past as a very young child, but rather than being the victim (which would be more acceptable), I am the perpetrator. You didn’t see that one coming, did you? See what I mean?21
Either way, although I regret my wrongful actions, I am scarred just as much as any other child who’s been disturbed in such a way.
That’s one example. There are many others that I will not get into. Hopefully, this gives you a feel for what I’m saying.22
2,575 words into Determinism, by Asher Wolfstein, published on June 10, 2025, thirty-five days into his ECT treatment.
End troll quotes and screenshots. This was a STUPID thing to write, AND distasteful. On May 6, 2024 I began electro-convulsive therapy, I published this post on June 10, 2024, 35 days later. People aren’t aware of this, but23 ECT involves 3 weeks of intensive treatment at the beginning, 3 sessions per week, that’s 21 days of my brain having electricity shot into it. It’s worked *wonders*.
After that it reduces, but it remains weekly, so,24 14 days later, I would’ve gone through it at least 2 more times. Kerzner is very aware of this as, after she made it about herself and I laughed at it, she was able to observe, through Pablo and in our chat, me enter into a state of altered thought where I wasn’t sure about much.25
So, I ended up making a poor decision because I was ‘afraid of hiding’ED as is evident in the transcripts of May 2024. Until I began reviewing the transcripts for publication26 I didn’t realize how much of May and June I’ve actually forgotten, but it shows the spirit of the exchanges that I have always remembered: that of a concerned and supportive friend who defended me more than I ever asked her to.27
[ED: ‘afraid of hiding’ .. I could have worded this better on Twitter. Although, I was referring to this. I should have quoted myself on 2024-05-07T14:31:03: “I’ve gotten to a point where I feel like there really isn’t any reason to bottle it all in and keep it from everyone because, honestly, it doesn’t seem like it really matters anyway and it doesn’t change anything.”]
In fact, at one point I ignored her question, “Should I taunt them?” after essentially Kiwi Farms ‘messed up.’ I didn’t even write the words Kiwi Farms until AFTER I started talking about the Cancellation Video *19 days* after it aired and28 I became concerned about what Kerzner was publicly saying. This is all published, in detail, on my website now, and maybe one can see why by the end of this thread. I continue quoting the post verbatim:29
Just like Scott was mischaracterized a lot by many people all the time, I have been mischaracterized, mostly to my benefit. Just like Scott had to face the world with a complex of not being enough somehow but at the same time rejected for being too much,30 I have continuously struggled with being both admired and rejected at the same time. Like Scott never felt he could get what he wanted out of what he did (even raising his own family), I have never felt that I got what I desired from anything I set out to do.31
Scott was a staunch individualist and capitalist; I am a staunch individualist and capitalist. Scott was a heathen (kind of atheist, but not really, but definitely not Christian); I am a “heathen”: a new-age atheist Luciferian (“Lucifurryan”).32
When Scott ranted about other stupid people to me, I often finished his thoughts for him. I listened intently to everything he ever had to say. Scott had a strangeness in him, but he did not reveal nearly as much as I did the embraced strangeness inside me.33
I think about determinism. It took a lot of determinism for Scott to kill himself via starvation. It has taken a lot of determinism on my part to go to the hospital sixteen freakin’ times in twenty years rather than end up dead (two times I almost failed).34
Is my destiny shaped by my great-grandfather, grandfather, and father? I sometimes have arguments with my spouse, and I hear the exact same conversation coming out of our mouths that I heard decades ago in the kitchen coming out of his. It’s uncanny.35
Does this mean I have a time limit? Does this mean I’ll also be dead in twenty years? I can easily see someone encountering me as an adult and having it like they’re encountering Scott. Now he’s dead. That’s my future if nothing changes.36
That’s where I’m headed: small, dead, obscure, and unimportant.37[ED: And if I try “to correct course,” as I do in the post I’m quoting, Liana Kerzner was going to make sure I stayed right where I was.]
That’s my biological determinism. That’s my spiritual destiny. That’s the fate that I’ve been assigned after, I guess, being a bad person. That’s where I am to be in the social hierarchy of capitalist America:38 the mentally ill son of an alcoholic loser that can’t make it in the cutthroat world of modern male society because he’s a faggot who dresses up like a dog to interact with children.
I realized a while ago that I don’t care about being “rich.” I don’t care about profit in the traditional sense, as in having it all come to me so I can buy a giant mansion, a yacht, a park, and invest ungodly amounts in stocks… no, seriously, that’s stupid.41
I don’t care about that. I care about affording a nice life, but that’s pretty easily attainable when the numbers increase.42
I’m sick and tired of the capitalist organizations in America needlessly fucking over everyone endlessly so that they can enjoy greater and greater profits, all while blaming inflation.43
I’m a capitalist, but I don’t regard value or people like that at all, so I want to do something about it and show it can be done.44
I care about putting value into the hands of people who deserve and need it. That means a large amount of program or profit that isn’t directly reciprocated: essentially free stuff. For example, I would like to see these things happen:45
How to Program Anything: A Computational Foundation – How To Program Anything (HTPA) aims to provide clear, comprehensive, accessible, and educational programming resources that integrate the theoretical scientist’s knowledge with the practical engineer’s methods.46 It’s designed to appeal to both the artist and the engineer, the young novice or the adult enthusiast, with mainstream content (such as Python or Data Science) and niche (like MU* or retro computing).47 Resources are always free to access, always free to share (Content License: CC BY-NC-SA 4.0, Project License(s): MIT License), and will always remain ad-free (and unbiased) through the support of our users on Patreon. https://howtoprogramanything.com48
Press Accept Software: Premium Quality Open-Source Software – Press Accept Software (PAS) develops and supports premium quality open-source software for many creative purposes. What do we mean by premium quality? Oftentimes, high-quality open-source software,50 such as a WordPress plugin, sporting the friendliest interface, most comprehensive features, and more, is commercial in that a license for support or otherwise must be purchased. This helps support the quality of the software.51
Press Accept Software aims to develop software, in tandem with HTPA, that retains the same level of quality but without a commercial license. We hope to foster widely diverse and creative projects, including some people might say, “Why would you want to do that?”52 In that sense, Press Accept Software is a welcoming place for creative, different, and even neurodivergent programmers and software engineers. https://pressaccept.com53
The Chraki Language Institute: Linguistics For Everyone – The Chraki Language Institute (CLI) publishes free educational materials related to linguistics, (foreign) languages, constructed languages, formal languages (programming and math), and other language resources.54 It also will provide a forum/platform for discussion and social connections. In terms of constructed languages, it will mainly focus on Chraki (but include others) as both a natural language and a programming language.55 The goal is to provide the largest free public database of all things language and linguistics. https://chraki.dev
Kougeki: Japanese – English Gaming – Kougeki (攻撃) is an online blog that showcases Japanese games with videos and56 translates and explains them in English to raise awareness of Japanese video games, pop culture, and language. This site is the main resource for Japanese (日本語) information in the Chraki Language Institute network. https://kougeki.com57
Peristaltic Monthly – A revival of the official newsletter of The Clasheerian Order but now on a massive global scale (for real this time) via the internet and on-demand magazine printing.58 It will also hold the news and other important information for the Original Pursuits Society and have articles about current events and issues. https://peristalticmonthly.com
Hyper Life Ninja – A free-to-access lifestyle publication/website/channel showcasing various skills and59 crafts for the modern homemaker (or anybody) as inspired by the 30s-90s. It will also house software tools for home organization and meal planning, including a large and free recipe database from almost everywhere. https://hyperlife.ninja60
Nostalgia Bytez – A free-to-access database (as can be legally done) of abandonedware and retro/old software/games.61 Showcases retro creators, streams, videos, walkthroughs, graphics, fan sites, and even explanations of old game code and how to program retro consoles. https://nostalgiabytez.com62
Bulc.ing – An absurdist post-modern cultural (night)club in the Second Life virtual world. https://bulc.ing64
Why Do I Feel This Way? – A database of free mental-health resources written and collected by those with mental health issues for others with mental health issues. Do you need psychological insight or some direction regarding therapy or life?65 Would you like to figure out why you feel the way you do? Access Why Do I Feel This Way, always for free. https://whydoifeelthisway.com [ED: Liana and I discussed this briefly as an independent parallel to what she was doing.]66
How to Mean Business – A free business news and advice site with articles and resources for entrepreneurs and enterprises alike. https://howtomeanbusiness.com67
HUGNS: Happy UnderGround News Station – An online news television station (with other shows) operated entirely by whimsical furries. https://hugns.com70
Ascendentum Sublimas Universitas: Esoterica – A wiki that can serve as the umbrella of ALL the free stuff listed in this list.71 I imagine this as a sort of combination of Wikipedia, an online directory, a search engine, a free university, a community, and virtual space. https://esoterica.wiki71
Singer Notes – A video community for musical and vocal artists to get away from the chronic abuse of the opera and recording industry, showcase their talents, and show what they can do outside of the noise of mainstream social media. https://singernotes.com72[ED: I actually built a fully-functional prototype for this and had one of our “opera friends” test it out. We tried to make it cheaper to run, (see ChromaCoder below), but alas, it still wasn’t economical enough.]
Cybercadia – An online virtual space where creative individuals can connect, interact, and learn. https://cybercadia.com73
I then imagine these following ideas/sites as the commercial sites that would provide some services and make the company some of the money that would then be spent on increasing social profit:74
Novelty Factor Hosting – A highly competitive shared hosting provider with unlimited bandwidth and space. https://noveltyfactor.com75[ED: The *complete* front-facing marketing site is not online at the moment, something I *also* made myself, because it went down around the second, and permanent, time I was suspended from BlueSky. However, you can access the storefront/client site and purchase hosting packages and domains here: my.noveltyfactor.com]
Incarnate Me – A commercial (but free to use as a user) identity service for single sign-on and other identification and verification services. https://incarnate.me76
Chromacoder – A transcoding API that operates on object storage services (S3-compatible) to transcode uploaded video content into streamable files (think video-sharing sites).77 Can achieve lower prices than competitors (AWS and Coconut) by charging only for exactly the computing resources used. https://chromacoder.com78 [ED: I actually *built a fully functional, interface and all, prototype* for this as well as a companion site. The way I did it *was* cheaper than Coconut and AWS. Pablo witnessed it working as I demonstrated it to him. The issue was investment.]79
Kadar Development – Develops purposefully commercial software under contract. https://kadardev.com80
Satyrotica – A website for the more adult-oriented creativity that adult members of the society might produce. A collection of erotica, both free and paid, and a community devoted to that erotica. https://satyrotica.com85
Murrsuits – A commercial adult video-sharing site specifically for furries and fursuits. https://murrsuits.com [ED: I’m not actually *into* “murrsuits” btw. This is not my thing.]86
Lewdonarrative – A game development studio focusing on unique adult-oriented furry visual/kinetic novels. https://lewdonarrative.com [ED: This is “my thing.”]87
This is just a sketch of ideas of the commercial services that could be offered.88
The truth is, I can design and program pretty much any site or web app you can imagine. That includes functionality. My partner and I have batted around some ideas of reproducing some high-profile web services but for cheaper and better (considering where the money is going).89
These ideas have been sitting in limbo for years and years now. And a lot of that, as Kevin can tell you, is me. So I gotta fix that. But some of it is just being ignored by society on top of withdrawing from society as a hermit.90
I gotta improve my daily life with a schedule. I need to change how I look at people and situations. I’m going to a Jungian therapist to do this. I’m getting electroshock to calibrate and make my brain hemispheres less asymmetric. I’m trying. 91
I’m hoping that, past this post, I will be able to show that I am trying and that I want to do things to be taken seriously by what I’ll be writing and producing on some of these sites.92
[ED: And this is the last thing I wrote on the post. GO LOOK FOR YOURSELF!] I want something good to come out of all of this, but, that requires other people being kind and caring enough to also want it too.93
Determinism by Asher Wolfstein, published on June 10, 2025, thirty-five days into his ECT treatment.
Now. To the matter that’s MOST important right now. Reread this part if you need to. Read it as many times as you need, and reread it, triple-check, and read it again. Show me where I wrote what Liana describes:
Only Liana Kerzner ever knew what the fuck I *might’ve* been talking about. Only Liana Kerzner knew about any other person involved, a person I never mention. I don’t even mention a victim with any detail whatsoever.
I allude to an *event,* one in which *I’m* the perpetrator.95
To do that takes a bit of ownership doesn’t it? I don’t describe any details, any people, any circumstances, any reasons, any factors, any aftermath… But I express regret, trauma, and being disturbed.96
I grew up in an environment where I wasn’t really “allowed” to do anything. We were simply expected to do what was right, as we determined it with help, without reward or even encouragement.97
My father never complimented me on anything, except to once say that he was glad I existed after I put myself in a 36 hour coma.
Nobody “allowed” me to watch or not watch something. It was a pretty uncontrolled environment, which, I’ve [talked] about great security in living, but I’ve also described emotional neglect, which Liana agreed; although,99 she characterized my father trying to encourage *and* warn me realistically regarding my intelligence as “parentification of the child” to which I said “he told me that in hopes I wouldn’t do the same things he did” and she promptly changed the subject.100
Also, I cried after that happened, because of the REALITY of it. Because I knew it was both amazing for me, and all the pain was true.101[ED: After Scott, my father, told me that, not Liana. I must specify this in case Liana reads this and thinks I’m talking about her absurd levels of certainty being correct all along. Her erroneous egotistical insight has haunted me for seventeen months.]
*ONLY* Liana knew about anyone involved. *ONLY* Liana knew any semblance of what happened. *ONLY* Liana knew about media exposure. *ONLY* Liana knew about any detail at all. *ONLY LIANA* And still, in her “apology”[she] calls it ‘overselling’ while telling it WRONG.
This Twitter thread is me, now, jumping up and down, going “It’s me! It’s me! I’m the broken nobody!” as Liana puts it. She has no idea why anyone would ever do that. I am not the “pedophilic stalker.” That’s Annie Gallagher.
I have discussed this thread, already, as well, where I point out that Audrey is seeking pity for being a victim of not being a victim.Text Of Image
The world is on fire, while my wife and all of our friends are being harried on all sides by a maniacal ex, a pdfilic [pedophilic] stalker, a broken nobody who can't stand that some women on the internet told him no (a whole year later) and his husband. 1 Reply 1 Repost 6 Likes
Isn’t that what “we” (as Liana loved to say to subtly insert herself into my projects, don’t think I didn’t notice) have been fighting against this entire fucking time?104
Liana will do this to YOUR trauma too, the second she decides you’re a problem and she can’t get free drama content out of you anymore because you stopped posting.105
She describes a post that was never written. It was never written. None of those details were ever written. And then she describes it as oversold attention-seeking behavior because…106 Well, so that it sounds so horrid you probably won’t want to go read it and be traumatized by the sociopathic audacity of parading faux guilt around for attention.107
I never wanted attention for that. I did that to try to “release the shame” *from* Pablo, something I had begun on Twitter on May 7, 2026, the day AFTER I started ECT.108
Liana has posted something recently, and I think it’s extremely insightful, but not the way she intends it to be I’m sure. bsky.app/profile/redlianak…109
Liana had just finished describing me as a “terrible person,” of some sort and type in other posts on the same platform. I confidently infer, as she does all the time, that this is in response to this Tweet, where I say, “I don’t think Liana is a terrible person. Terrible people can’t get better.”
THIS. This thread is what I’ve been writing for the last 17 months. This is the style of thread. This is it. This is my long-winded “manic” posting. It’s ALL been like this, and everyone will see it soon as I make my BlueSky archive more accessible. bsky.app/profile/hellscapewanderer…110
I replied to this with essentially: ‘Crazy’ people aren’t props for your dramatic *teehee* shenanigans.
The list was a list of people who engaged in ‘drama’ and airing of grievances in pretty outrageous ways on their timelines, which Saige did, and was doing then.
They came in wanting me to “explain” how I thought I was contributing, essentially, to the greater discourse.113
I said I wasn’t. And that I wasn’t going to explain what I was trying to accomplish to them, the victimhood gatekeepers, and to fuck off.114
They did not take kindly to this after they erased their racist, sexist, and ableist posts to my husband and about me, and I put the “context they erased” right the fuck back up.115
Why might they think this, insisting they “knew” everything there was to know about my situation while failing to identify who my husband even was, with a Thanos GIF and everything?
Asher Wolfstein 2021-07-02T15:15:23 ID 147892 Type message
You might as well have saved time and stated, "Generalities exist, but not the ones I happen to dislike."118 You've tried to dilute the OP by stating that 'not all people' are 'this or that', but it doesn't really work. You state that the issue of inequality of average gendered interests in the workplace, and thus an inequality of the sexes, doesn't exist in a general sense.119 You do this by claiming that not all individuals follow the average gender profile. Considering some individuals, as opposed to a group, is quite specific. You try to then use these specifics to show that the generality is false.120 After all, there are so many specifics, like all these character traits, that perhaps it's impossible for a generality to exist at all. Not only is this also a composition fallacy (every individual happens to be so unique, from these examples, that a generality can't be formed)121 but you also don't believe your own argument. If you did, you wouldn't state that more men or women would succeed in any situation, which is particularly essentialist, but rather that only specific individuals would ever be able to succeed (since there's no generality).122 You seem to like to use groups when it suits you, and individuals when it's convenient, but which is it? Do generalities exist among men and women (such as psychological test scores), which would lead to understandable bias of 'more like me' in groups, or123 is everyone a special example so no generality can exist? You've proffered up this flawed argument to mask the fact that you're essentially saying that the 'glass ceilings' and bias towards women in various fields (like medicine) even in a historical context are fabricated.124 That they are really just women, being the ones that seem to complain, unable to handle their own specific individual short-comings, just like men. Yet, your own concession that some traits are more apparent in the two genders than others tells us125 that it's NOT impossible that an environment filled with men might discourage women who have incompatible traits. If it's NOT impossible, then a generality CAN exist, and in fact it's been historically observed.126 You can't have it both ways, either we're all specially unique individuals responsible for every facet of our lives and in no way burdened with any stereotypical perceptions and judgments (which is unrealistic and shortsighted), or127 it's simply a fact that a bias can and does exist in groups/environments where there are predominantly men because there are predominantly men (which you've alluded to the historical precedent.)128 Also, what traits exactly combine to make someone effeminate or gay? Since those observations are a composite of traits, then some mixture of them will give the result. I'm having trouble determining what those traits might be. Perhaps you could help?129
This is *exactly* the type of thread and point I’ve been making for 17 months while Liana says this:
“OMG This guy is self-delusional and blames ME for everything wrong in his life. He incomprehensible and never thinks about how he affects others.”132[ED: To be clear, this is a sarcastic paraphrase. This is me having fun with it.]
No.
That’s an, unfortunately, highly believable caricature of someone with Chronic Treatment-Resistant Depression and severe Borderline Personality Disorder that does the best he can.
The most singularly important things you need to know about the situation according to Liana Kerzner, mental health journalist (and advocate?):
I’m self-delusional (only she has the proper insight) and in that delusion place *HER* at the center of all my self-inflicted misery,134 blaming *HER* for every problem in my life, and that I think *SHE* has ruined my life and that’s why I post incomprehensibly about her. That is a weird positioning to continue to champion.135
That I wrote a detailed clickbaity attention-seeking post all about how I “goofed around as a kid with another kid after being allowed to watch something inappropriate”136 and oversold it as a giant huge trauma to disgustingly join the cool kids and get made fun of by Kiwi Farms, which I liked, and taunted, and provoked, *dragging* her into it by demand.137
She is literally engaging in mental health stigma, downplaying the event I never wrote about (which was part of the trauma, and she knows this, as you’ll see), repeating a phrase from Kiwi Farms that she knows is the issue (as you’ll see),138 in her “apology” as a virtuous, understanding person finally affording me dignity by removing *her* contact form whose messages I had *no* access to… except when she read them on the radio.139
And you fuckers don’t care to see it, because she’s supported you *so much* that you think you’re above us, better than us, more capable than us, spitting on anyone who doesn’t solve their problems the way you do, the way Liana says, with absolute certainty in your minds.140
You don’t care.
You “care” by not caring.
You. Don’t. Care.
And neither did Liana about my dignity, safety, health, or situation until we ridiculed her like trolls for ‘taking the bait.’ That’s the only language she knows.141
In response Liana laughs and makes a “cultural critique” video essentially saying, “Everyone’s a little bit stigma-ed!”
No.
No they aren’t.
You aren’t Liana. You’re *BELIEVED* for some reason.142
Quit trying to join what you are *convinced* are the cool kids, those with an *interesting* actually bonkers dramatic story… I know, I know, you’re the “quirky girl” who’s life is “inexplicable.”143
Nobody: …
Liana: I’m so quirky!
Asher: *sigh* I wish I could just stand on a corner dressed in a fursuit holding a sign as my career.144
Liana: Oh no, I’m being stalked by a bad crazy pretending to be trans. How pitiful this other account of a real person is making no real money on Patreon.
And she was fine, supportive even, throughout the ENTIRE thing, even as I worked myself up to investigate and defend myself against Kiwi Farms (FOR ME).160
Until, suddenly, she wasn’t. Until, suddenly, I had to be SHORTER! Talk about my raw tender emotions instead of philosophical points SHE originally brought up. (Talking about raw emotion when I’m not ready is tortuous, this whole thing has been tortuous)170
THIS is what @redlianak doesn’t want you to see. The mental health journalist, with high careful ethics, as she told a seasoned psychologist/psychiatrist that works with veterans in front of me,[ED: In real life, if this isn’t clear, not a screen. We were *real-life* friends, not parasocial.] especially journalistic integrity.171
Nobody: …
Liana: <reads anonymous messages on the radio as if they’re my husband>
Liana: I’ve removed the contact form. If Kiwi Farms can get you to wail about everything, that’s what they want. It’s a small sacrifice to preserve his dignity, the greatest asshole.172[ED: Unofficial transcript below.]
Nobody: …
Asher: This is mental health stigma and punching down.
“Out of respect for your past friendship and for the sake of the mental and financial health of everyone caught up in this dispute, Mrs. Kerzner would like this to be settled without any further online rancour and hopes that you share that goal.”
Here’s the snippets, and all the context in the descriptions. This has actually driven people *away* from my YouTube channel. It’s something strange, sure, but it’s all true. 179
I mean, who is this supposed to be? But this? https://asherwolfstein.com/bsky/post/… This is the thread she, frankly, HAS to be referring to, what she says after stating that someone is harassing people on Two Women Talking reads like she’s reacting specifically to THAT thread, particularly the “he TOLD me, I KNOW, he TOLD me” (paraphrased). Watch the video, the link is timestamped! I uploaded this to Twitter. This is a clip I put together as a commentary and evidence of what Liana Kerzner says. I am aware she did not name me specifically. If you look over the transcript and the video it is obvious who she’s talking about. Having been a member of her Discord for an extended period, and her close friend of five years, I know that her core audience and friends will know, or easily infer for themselves, exactly who she is talking about. It does not matter if she intended to be talking about someone else. Her vagueness brings this about and is an example of a lack of “journalistic integrity,” something she prides herself on. She does not need to name names to identify someone and be responsible for it. She is responsible for talking about this in vague terms, but not vague enough to be completely unidentifiable. It’s me, or is it someone else? Well, I have very good reason to think it’s me, and so, I speak up. Why wouldn’t I when this is going on? Liana Kerzner is responsible for the consequences her vagueness brings about.
Working on the other thread, I have this backed up, so, I won’t lose anything, don’t bother. You never accomplish shit.
An idiot fucking small-town broken nobody furry debatebro borderline lolcow with a shitty high school education and no following tagged an allegedly famous lawyer who was, 3 hours earlier, bumping along on Twitter about his books, his career, his ridiculous ‘scandal’ and doing a back and forth with Canadian politicians… and he deleted his fucking account.
Either he’s “giving up,” at that exact moment, on the cesspool that is Twitter, I’m sure, or he’ll be back and is just hiding for now, like a coward.
That lawyer is infamous media critic Dr. Mark Bourrie, JD who, I’m sure, is really happy with the wielder of his dull instrument of institutional intimidation, I mean, client, Liana Kerzner, right now.
You guy’s thought I was too dumb to figure out who you all were, but I’m not. I wrote multiple times not to underestimate me, but you just wouldn’t listen. Not all Borderline lolcows are everything you think they are. Sucks to be you! 10:02 PM June 22, 2024 – 63 Views (Courtesy of Kiwi Farms)
This is all pure laymen’s speculation on my end, as I’m not a legal professional nor a public commentator and make no claim to the factual contents of this section.
Liana Kerzner Finally ‘Grants’ Me Dignity After 17 Months
(As If She Could)
But only after “bullying” her like she “bullies” others, constantly.
(This was done by a computer so that it could be as objective as possible, so mistakes may be present.)
Hey patrons, okay, another week has gone by. What's been going on? We're still having storms that are waking me up in the middle of the night. There's been another, I have no idea what actually happened with this particular stalker, but they're active again and they've built an entire doc site about me.
I'm not sure if I've, and it's not just me, um, but I mean they are, someone is watching me and passing information to them and someone is trying to pass information to me to start shit, likely Kiwi Farms, and so I've removed the contact form from the It's Not Therapy website, um, which is frustrating because I have to remove a communication tool, but it was being abused so badly that it was, you know, the right thing to do. If there's something about that form that is an abuse vector, um, I'm, uh, going to remove it because as big a pain in the ass it is for me. I know I'm not the primary target here.
Um, um, the way, I mean, the way Kiwi Farms works is they like to torture people they think deserve it, you know, to try to teach them a lesson about being hyper reactive online. And as much as I think that to an extent this individual is indeed a horrible person, uh, they are also mentally ill and I can set boundaries on their behavior and still understand that they have dignity as a person. So if I can take away a way that people are, um, torturing them via me, I don't have to I can actively dislike them and I can still do that because when I validate the dignity of a person I don't like and think is awful, I validate my own dignity and humanity.ED
And that's the way it works. Like being a decent, being decent, not nice, but decent to shitty people is a way that we affirm our own right to decent treatment. And I think that, you know, part of the reason shitty people are shitty people is because they are not decent with themselves and they are not decent with others.
This ridiculous idea that somebody did something awful to me so I can hit them back in the same perceived way is counterproductive, you know, and somebody can think that a show about, they think the show about good uses of AI from a mental health perspective is about them, okay, um, because there was a population problem, like it didn't transfer to YouTube. I may have talked about this last week, but I didn't know it didn't transfer to YouTube because it's like, is stuff there? I don't check that all the time. It's a secondary part of, uh, the brand.
Uh, so it's like the whole point of automating it is so you don't have to look. So the way I find out that those episodes didn't transfer is the stalker, right? Uh, insisting it's because it's about me. No, it ain't! The other show they claimed about them was, are you an accidental a-hole? That show is about no one in particular.
That was things everybody does sometimes, or majority of people do, like couldn't have picked two worse shows to make that case. So obviously there are some delusions here, but how you choose to address your particular, um, challenges in terms of mental health, that's what makes you a good or bad person and, or, or good or do good or bad things. And there is no excuse to dock someone and their friends using commentary from Kiwi Farms.
Why does the world care if Kiwi Farms think I have saggy breasts? Like, really? What is wrong with you other than, hey, that's mean, let's put it up? It's not relevant. And when you're treating the words of a username Cornholio than thou, and you think that's relevant somehow, that I don't think is mental illness. That's just spite.
And mentally ill people are still adults. They're still responsible for what they do. If they're trying to claim they're not responsible for what they do, they should be in inpatient care.
That is my opinion. But still, I can still do the decent thing, even though it's kind of frustrating. And, and, you know, I don't do this to be nice.
Like I said, decent is not nice. I do it for myself because it helps me know that the shit they're saying about me isn't true. I think they're just deflecting and projecting their own self-doubt and the part of them that is still human and aware on some level that what they are doing is wrong.
And all the permission structures in the world turn out to be just excuses because this is not something you do to anybody. If you have a legitimate grievance with someone, you don't pepper it with appearance-based attacks and shittiness. It just weakens your argument.
And so I'm like, okay, I'm going to do the thing I think is right because, you know, I almost said not because I think they deserve it, but that's not true because I don't think anybody deserves to be tortured by this organization. And the funny thing is that the breakdown between me and this person started because they claimed, you know, Kiwi Farms trolls were right about a third party. And I said to this person, well, they're never right. Even when the information is factual, they're never right. If they're right about that person, then they're right about me. And I know they're not right about me.
And that person did not talk to me for three weeks after that because they were so upset that they'd hurt me. And then they came back with a non-apology apology. And I was like, nope, we got to talk about this shit because I do not accept Kiwi Farms trolls were right about anything.
And that led to the argument that led to the end of the friendship. And so the weird thing is that they know that that's what I believe because part of the things they put on this doc site, well, I don't know what's up there. I haven't looked because they seem to be monitoring visits on this site.
And so I don't want them, you know, I've told my lawyer about it. He may check it out, but I'm not looking because I don't want, I don't want them to get my IP address, to be completely honest. I mean, I know there's other ways of getting it, but still, I just don't want to give them the satisfaction to, for them to know I looked.
And it's a hideous site color scheme wise from the, people have sent me screen grabs going, basically, do you know this is going on? That's how I know bits of what's on the site. But, you know, the fact that that was, and they have obsessively gone over these telegram chats that they keep posting, like going back to 2021, which are relevant to nothing. And personally, I think, all right, you're dropping years of personal correspondence with somebody I thought was a friend and I was unguarded.
And, you know, people say things not for public consumption and the fact that there's been nothing cancelable in that, no matter how hard they've tried. That's sort of like, okay, I'm doing okay as a human. Silk purse out of a sow's ear, right? But still, it's like, yeah, there's nothing there.
There's absolutely nothing there. So other than the, you know, this is a person who also knows that I have a PTSD trigger about being watched and smeared. And that's in those telegram chats, if they ever actually release everything in proper order, because the last time people did this, they didn't.
They released them out of order. And they have, they are releasing them out of order. They're doing one year before another year.
It's designed to confuse and designed to curate and create a false narrative. And yeah, but that's there. They know that this is a PTSD trigger for me and they're doing this deliberately.
That's terrible person territory. And despite what they've said about me, no, I did not do anything deliberately. I treated them the way they told me they wanted to be treated, which was treat them like an adult.
Tell them when you don't like something, you know, they can handle it. Just because they didn't know themselves was not my fault. Dignity of risk principles dictate you don't treat adults with mental illness like children.
If they say this is how I want to be treated, that's how you treat them. Right? So I stand by what I did. And I stand by getting pissed off at them.
And I stand by saying things like, you want to run people over and then get complimented on the tread pattern. But they're, you know, when, when you trust people who, and to be clear, I don't think they were always this bad. They made some choices that eroded their impulse control among other things.
And, you know, there are certain conditions where if you don't treat them properly, they do get worse over time. So I don't believe they were always this bad. They're trying to, she was never my friend.
It was all fake. No, it wasn't. It just hit a point where I couldn't, I couldn't defend what they were doing because what they were doing was indefensible.
Siding with Kiwi Farms trolls? Nope. Nope. And that's what it was.
No matter what they claim, that was the fight that wrecked the working relationship and the friendship. Like, it was like the working relationship was damaged by the fact that they won't accept that you can't just fuck off for three weeks and do business, certain types of business. You can't, you can't just do it without warning because you're upset.
You know, if that's, if you're that unstable, I say this as somebody who runs a small business, part of the reason I'm being very careful and very open about what's going on is yes, they are deliberately stomping all over a mental health condition that I've been diagnosed with. And I have to be very, very careful about my practice so that I can remain functional. I can't fall apart for three weeks because I've become ragingly symptomatic.
Because it's not just, you know, the, the PTSD, it's the autoimmune disease, like too much stress on an ongoing basis aggravates that. And that doesn't mean that people can't be mean to me. This is my responsibility to manage, right? I don't think people should be actively mean to anybody, but you know, I'm not more protected than anybody else because I have an illness.
It's just, this is something I know I really have to watch if I want my eyes and my hands to continue working and I don't want to have wicked bad brain fog. Um, so, you know, uh, nevermind the joint pain. So, and I am starting to feel it in my shoulders.
And so I'd rather, you know, head off the inflammatory response now. Um, but yeah, it's my responsibility. And, and because that is an inviolable fact, that is my life.
That is how I have to live my life, um, to stay functional and happy. I can't be around people who fall apart for three weeks because it's short term easier than doing the work to keep your shit together. And in that case, like that's not bad people territory.
It's what they've done since that is bad people territory. Um, but yeah, it's been real special and there's always other stuff going on like storms and crap like that. But, uh, I just wanted people to know if anybody noticed that the form was missing, that's why.
And, um, you know, I don't want to make a big deal about this publicly because, um, well, this is sort of public, but you know what I mean? Um, I want to be transparent and, and explain and communicate without setting off fireworks and making a big deal about it because, um, I do believe that communication is the best way to insulate myself against these attacks on my character and personhood. Um, but you know, I'm, I'm not only do I know that like, this is a mistake, this person keeps making you make a big deal. You make yourself more interesting to these trolls.
Um, but also just, that's not my personality. I, I would have made a lot more money in like women and gaming stuff if I was willing to go, I am a victim, I am being harassed, damsels in distress are bad, but you should stop this. Let me talk to the UN.
You know, I'm not that. I'd be further ahead if I was. I'm every like one of those personality things like Zodiac, Myers-Briggs, psychology Zodiac, you know, like all of those things.
It's like, yeah, you're internal and you come across as cold and it's like, okay, yeah, true. You know, I come across as unfeeling just because I'm one of those people that has to step back and examine and, and process. Um, so I don't like, I know this is a Pokemon reference, but you don't, uh, what is it, Gerados, the, the big water dragon guy, the thrash move that Gerados gets is just because they bam, bam, bam.
Like that's what it's like for me to have a full-blown PTSD trigger. Like I just, Kratos rage mode, I just start smashing shit. Um, and that's not good for me or the stuff that breaks.
And so you, you can't control your freeze, fight, fall, or flight response. You can control getting there. Right. So I'm somebody that when something's really strong, it's like step back, examine, pause. What is this? How do we move forward consciously? And that doesn't mean I don't lose my shit. Like my God, I'm not perfect far from it, but I've got enough of a sense of humor about myself, enough experience.
And I've put in the work that this is habit now. And this is exactly why I don't excuse anybody who doesn't do this work because if a fuck up like me can do this, I'm no genius and I'm no Paragon. I'm an opossum, right? Um, opossum brain.
And if I can do it, it is possible for anybody who wants to put in the work. You just have to really put in the work. This is brain science, you know? And so I have no tolerance for people who make excuses in this space.
So, um, that's, what's going on a part of what's going on. It's God been 19 minutes on a Patreon video, but just letting everybody know and, uh, yep. Onward and upward from here.
Thanks for watching.
ED: “My own dignity sake” may be something she truly believes, and believed before she met me, but it bears a striking resemblance to my own moral philosophy regarding the conditional care of others. It’s not an automatic duty, nothing’s an automatic duty, but there are duties you take on willingly and are responsible for, such as becoming a Peer Counselor and a mental health journalist.
It makes me wonder, at this point, giving all her pantomimed virtue (in my opinion given the evidence), if she might be trying to ‘bait’ me into complaining that she didn’t do it for me.
But, see, I’d never complain about that, because, I think doing things altruistically for others is ‘evil,’ to use a term others use, I use ‘anti-selfish’ because there’s nt objective ‘good’ in my philosophy, not the way others think of it.
It makes you think, when it’s couched in all this other flowery altruistic language. It’s a bit… tense isn’t it? There’s a tight tension between one end and the other. You won’t find much of that in my musings and reactions, but Liana appears to see it all the time.
It’s just strange, but, it also sounds too conspiratorial… doesn’t it?
Liana Kerzner is strangely echoing the same justification here after 17 months of mental health stigma and escalating claims of harassing messages. She even went so far as to read an ANONYMOUS message on the radio, pinning it on my indexically targeted husband, where he vociferously blamed her for him getting a “Rude” label on BlueSky (he didn’t blame her, and he never did).
She told her Discord, with very little ambiguity that the death threat was from me, because of my website.
You might be asking, “Why would it be so important that people know I’m sending these disturbing messages?”
Liana has spent a good deal of time subtly, and not-so-subtly, inserting thoughts, motivations, and even whole phrases into the public perception of me that I’ve never stated, because they’re not true. And these consist of being a misogynist, transphobic, and generally horrible towards women, ‘gingers’ in particular. She’s even suggested a ‘pattern’ of targeting trans women in her videos, when, it’s just the social circle that I was having issues with at that time.
The verifiable history and data does not show any of this to be true.
It’s paramount that it remains true, however. Otherwise, how would she justify what she has done?
A children’s author I got into an ‘Internet fight’ with says she received a “disturbing” message, I got mixed signals (yes!), and when it was clear that engagement was inappropriate on my end, I instantly ceased all communication.
I did not send this message.
Annie Gallagher allegedy got one from me, which she called “schizo,” by the way. I did not send this message.
Saige Alexis (VividFaeGarden) and her wife Audrey Crawford allegedly received a quite disturbing one, which prompted Audrey to tell me she was *DEADLY* serious. Uh, wut? Wow. I did not send this message.
Liana claims, with a screenshot, I sent her one incredibly manic message that copy-pasted a bunch of disparate things I had written (one sentence was missing the first letter) and then attached some concessionary guilt-laden thing at the end I’d never write in a million years. She ascribed it to me by stating that it sounded like it was coming from a place of guilt (really, Ms. Armchair Psychologist?) and so, it was believable.
And this is one of the many dangers of people being able to artificially place themselves, by self-appointment, into a place of ‘authority,’ of any kind, in the mental health arena: they get it wrong, with disastrous irresponsibility, as it becomes a matter of pride and public image for the ever-present camera. There is no such thing as an effective Influencer Therapist.
There simply isn’t.
Liana excitedly described it once as “the future,” and at that, I reeled in dystopian despair because… if it is, and people think it is effective, then, less reason to invest right?
When social media can do it as well, with greater distribution, for less, and with more intimacy?
Because aligning your ‘practice’ to the optics of influencing, no matter how much it’s denied, is not in the best interest of the client. Ever.
It’s not the future, or, at least, it shouldn’t be the future. Not if you actually care about “bad crazies,” a quote straight from Liana’s branding!
Liana had been quite familiar with my writing, personality, and philosophy at this point. All my other friends instantly say, upon hearing it, that I would never write that. Clearly, not a difficult judgment, unless, someone isn’t my friend.
And there may have been a couple others, as someone was tailing my Internet activity to triangulate this whole mess.
And who was supposed to know that? Well, Liana Kerzner!
Truly! The evidence, which is now available, and which she has called stalking, supports this beyond a reasonable doubt.
Not only because we tried to warn her repeatedly, requesting people send us copies, or post them publicly (wtf? right?), but because I discussed it 15+ times, in detail, over our 5-year relationship.
Liana feigned innocence on her Discord, to her fans, and now, above, lies that an episode wasn’t ‘about us,’ because she believes *she* sets the topic for people, instead of her words themselves.
It all sounds bizarre, even frightening, yes, but “that’s the thing”: people with mental health conditions are prone to taking things beyond the ‘normal’ parameters, so, yeah, it is something strange, but, it’s all true.
A List Of “Straight-Up Lies” In The Provided Transcript
