Source: at://did:plc:v2j2g5pdghrwazhbw6gvxtdp/app.bsky.feed.post/3llrtewq3nr2k
I've *NEVER* claimed that my mental illness makes me exceptional.
2025-04-01 21:36:53.180 / 3llrtewq3nr2k
Throughout the last 15 years, I have always said that I'm "disturbed" (I've written it before) and that it makes me stand apart. I'm not inferior or superior, just different. I'm no better than anyone else.
2025-04-01 21:36:53.181 / 3llrtewqbjb2k
It's Giancarlo Vanzzini ( @hugonotderrick.bsky.social ) who most likely believes he's smarter than everyone else, and, by my judge of her behavior, @hellscapewanderer.bsky.social.
2025-04-01 21:36:53.182 / 3llrtewqdhr2k
Two people associated with @redlianak.bsky.social have made it abundantly clear that *they* think their mental illness, or more often it's resulting trauma (from self-harm or connected abuse by others), make *them* so special that …
2025-04-01 21:36:53.183 / 3llrtewyp2b2k
they're "main characters" (because I'm a "side character") who get to just shut me out of public existence. I don't matter.
2025-04-01 21:36:53.184 / 3llrtex62wb2k
Here's the thing though: Why would I *not* be an asshole to people who act like shit towards me? They (as in all these people over the last six months) don't! Not once!
2025-04-01 21:36:53.185 / 3llrtex62wc2k
Why must *I* always be expected (and it's there) to do the work, apologize, or soften the blow, simply because the other person, by their choices, has found themselves in a big pickle elsewhere?
2025-04-01 21:36:53.186 / 3llrtex62wd2k
I freely say that don't need to do that and ask for arguments why I should, and *that's* what makes me an asshole, as far as I can tell.
2025-04-01 21:36:53.187 / 3llrtex62we2k
The other things about me that *might* make me exceptional are:
2025-04-01 21:36:53.188 / 3llrtex62wf2k
that I'm a self-taught computer scientist from a small mountain town I grew up in throughout my childhood;
2025-04-01 21:36:53.189 / 3llrtex63vn2k
my IQ, a stupid measure, is estimated *by others* to be greater than 160;
2025-04-01 21:36:53.190 / 3llrtex63vo2k
I studied classical piano in my small county for ten years under private tutors;
2025-04-01 21:36:53.191 / 3llrtex63vp2k
I know animal husbandry from raising sheep and swine in 4-H, and I used the proceeds from the County Fair auctions to buy my first computer against my parents' wishes, which was fully mine;
2025-04-01 21:36:53.192 / 3llrtex63vq2k
I taught myself ColorBASIC on a TRS-80 Color Computer II 16k *at the age of 7* from the manuals *by myself,* no help;
2025-04-01 21:36:53.193 / 3llrtex63vr2k
I got shut out of college and became a fully licensed insurance agent at 18;
2025-04-01 21:36:53.194 / 3llrtex63vs2k
my first contract programming gig was for a gay porn site, but later I worked professionally under salary working in C, SQL, and PostScript (on shitty CRT terminals with Vi) for a financial and promotional printing center;
2025-04-01 21:36:53.195 / 3llrtex64v22k
I am a furry person who builds fursuits for myself and goes out in public filming myself interacting with others, and yet, I'm not "in the furry fandom";
2025-04-01 21:36:53.196 / 3llrtex64v32k
I'm old school; I read a lot and have an expansive knowledge of philosophy, abstract comp sci concepts, and programming languages;
2025-04-01 21:36:53.197 / 3llrtex64v42k
my moral philosophy doesn't match any popularly accepted moral philosophy in America right now, and it's not nihilism; and I've *always* been like that; I've never thought "altruism" was the root of good;
2025-04-01 21:36:53.198 / 3llrtex64v52k
I don't do guilt trips, and I don't respond to guilt trips in a very honest and transparent manner, which I consider fairly exceptional given how many cave to paying them lip service;
2025-04-01 21:36:53.199 / 3llrtex64v62k
I can write my own programming language interpreters, compilers, and optimizers;
2025-04-01 21:36:53.200 / 3llrtex64v72k
I'm an excellent conversationalist when I can keep myself from talking too much;
2025-04-01 21:36:53.201 / 3llrtex64va2k
and I'm a fantastic writer who even impressed @redlianak.bsky.social, and hope to create a computer game that no one has ever seen.
2025-04-01 21:36:53.202 / 3llrtex64vb2k
I reiterate for the third time now: not every "deranged, disturbed, allegedly harassing and stalking, misogynist, transphobe, prolific, profoundly mentally ill, buzzsaw of lunacy," is everything you *want* to believe you know they are.
2025-04-01 21:36:53.203 / 3llrtexdzej2k
I'm not "proud" of my mental illness. It doesn't make me smarter (wtf?). It doesn't improve my life. It doesn't make me superior. It doesn't inform me of too much of anything. I'm not special. I'm not the only person struggling in the world.
2025-04-01 21:36:53.204 / 3llrtexdzek2k
I *don't* want to be regarded as above anyone, as that untouchability ruined some of my affections and empathy when I was a high schooler. It's not fun, it's stupid.
Others seem to disagree, not only about me, but also about whether any of that is appropriate for themselves.
2025-04-01 21:36:53.205 / 3llrtexdzel2k
ATProto root record: 3llrtewq3nr2k