In another post that was deleted (and so will now be an ‘archival post’ when re-published) I talked about projects I had worked on in late-2022. One of those is the now-infamous (a fact!) Small Cumfurts series by yours truly.
Background
This was originally published in 2025, but it was written in 2022 (not 2023 as I’ve previously written). Specifically on September 7, 2022, one week after Impropriety With A Vampire was written. Both were written in one day. This discrepancy, combined with other factors, leads me to quote the current Episode 1 post:
… I previously described this as being in 2023 in a currently unavailable post, but, in reality, this didn’t happen in 2023. … The events surrounding these episodes happened during 2022, such as Maus starting work on the character creator for the disastrous BOSSFIGHT: Song of Sparklemuffin.
/small-cumfurts-episode-1/
All other topics, such as my creative process, the intended final product, and other further clarifications can be found in the Episode 1 – The Otter Pops post.
Episode List So Far
By the third post, we need a navigable list of episodes, so here it is:
- The Otter Pops
- Impropriety With A Vampire
- Getting Biblical
And so, without further ado…
Here’s Small Cumfurts: Episode 3 – Getting Biblical
Satyrotica Presents
A Lewdonarrative Game
(Artificial Dream Productions)
Small Cumfurts
Written And Programmed By
Asher Wolfstein
Graphics By
That Smug Cat
Music By
Asher Wolfstein
That Smug Cat
Episode 3 - “Getting Biblical”
Goliath: I think my car wants to have sex with me.
Dr. Solomon: …
Goliath: I’m serious! That’s why I’ve come to you doctor, you’re probably used to hearing things like this. You gotta help me sort this out.
The psychiatrist leaned forward in his chair,
Dr. Solomon: Well, there’s a first for everything.
Goliath: In fact, it’s not just my car. I’m finding that just about everything wants to have sex with me.
Dr. Solomon: I don’t want to have sex with you.
Goliath: Well, no, but you’re not a thing. You’re a person.
I fell back into my chair. The bull calmly leaned back in his chair.
Goliath: People don’t want to have sex with me.
He scribbled something into his notebook.
Dr. Solomon: Tell me, do you think about sex a lot?
Goliath: Well… I guess I fantasize, like, a lot. Let me give it to you like this, as an example.
He put his pen in his mouth and peered at me behind those thick glasses.
Goliath: God, I can’t believe I’m telling you this…
Goliath: The other day I was vacuuming the apartment, and my mind started to drift, like usual. I started thinking about someone undressing me; someone I really like.
Goliath: Next thing I know, I feel something and look down. My belt was slowly undoing itself and my pants zipper was going down.
Goliath: Despite this revelation, my fantasy continued, almost like an unpausable movie in my mind. The special someone starts kissing me and running his paw over my cock.
Goliath: At the same time, back in reality, my member is hard as fuck, pardon me, but then…
The psychiatrist looked at me with raised eyebrows. I paused and gulped.
Dr. Solomon: And…?
Was he on the edge of his seat?
Goliath: That’s when the handle of the vacuum started pushing against my hand, resisting my direction. I was startled so I let go of it. It didn’t fall doctor!
Dr. Solomon: What did it do?
Goliath: It fucking backed into me, placing itself right on my underwear-encased cock! It was vibrating, its light going on off on off. It proceeded to move back and forth on its own, rubbing, no, stroking my member.
Dr. Solomon: And the fantasy?
Goliath: Well, at this point, my special friend had fully undressed me and was giving me the handjob of a lifetime, all the while kissing me all over.
Dr. Solomon: …
Goliath: …
Dr. Solomon: Well, then what happened?
Goliath: Jeez, doc. I came! My dick had come out of my underwear a little bit, and I came all over my shirt, underwear, and vacuum handle. At that, the vacuum became lifeless and fell to the floor.
Dr. Solomon: And how’d you feel about that?
Goliath: Well, as terrified as I could be, and was the first time, I instead just felt… well, fucking great! It’s just that, well, that’s why I’m here.
The bull got a look on his face as if he couldn’t seem to decide on something.
Goliath: I’d rather do it with a person, not a vacuum, or my car, or the extension cord, or my controller, or my cleaning gloves! A person dammit!
He looked shocked for a moment but then composed himself.
Dr. Solomon: I’m going to go out on a limb here, but, I’m guessing your thought process was very similar during your car, the extension cord, and your cleaning gloves…
Goliath: And my video game controller…
Dr. Solomon: … and your controller, as it was with the vacuum.
Goliath: You’re right. I told you, I daydream, er, fantasize a lot!
He scribbled some more notes into his notebook with just the trace of a smirk on his face.
Goliath: You don’t believe me.
Dr. Solomon: It’s not necessarily a matter here of belief, but I’ll be frank Goliath. I’m pretty skeptical that an extension cord half-raped you on its own.
Goliath: You can’t rape the willing.
Dr. Solomon: …
Dr. Solomon: Either way, it doesn’t really matter. If you say you had sex with an inanimate object, then you did. The question is, is it bothering you? Getting in the way of your life?
Dr. Solomon: Goliath, I think we can dig a little deeper here. But you have to be willing to give me the whole picture.
Goliath: I thought I was pretty clear!
Dr. Solomon: Who is the other person in your fantasy? Is it always the same person?
Goliath: Oh… I see.
Dr. Solomon: Remember that nothing you say here ever leaves this room. This is a safe place.
Goliath: I work as a nurse at the local hospital, in the emergency room.
He started writing down more notes in his little notebook.
Goliath: For a while, really my whole life, I’d fantasize about random people, even, dare I say, patients. But don’t get me wrong, it was all purely private fantasy. It wasn’t until I met Dr. David Connor that things began getting out of hand.
Dr. Solomon: And this Dr. David Connor, I’m assuming, is the one now haunting all your fantasies.
Goliath: And all my possessions!
Dr. Solomon: Describe Dr. Connor to me.
Goliath: Well, first off, he’s a lion. He’s very tall, has a beautiful mane that he keeps well, and has large manly paws. He’s very noble, very strong, and assertive, just like in an old movie. He’s always in command, always knows what to do, and the ladies love him. He can be so suave sometimes, but also stern, especially with me.
Dr. Solomon: Well, damn Goliath, he sounds perfect.
Goliath: He is perfect.
Dr. Solomon: Perhaps too perfect?
Goliath: Well, in every way but one…
Goliath: I can’t have him!
Dr. Solomon: Because he’s a lion and you’re a sheep?
Goliath: What? No, because he’s straight. At least I think he’s straight. I mean he’s real good with the ladies.
Dr. Solomon: In my experience, that doesn’t necessarily mean anything…
Goliath: Don’t give me false hopes doc!
I sighed in resignation…
Goliath: Besides, why would someone as great and powerful as that ever want to be with someone as small and meek as me?
Dr. Solomon: Why did you come to me? What is it you want me to do?
Goliath: I guess I really want you to help me get over Dr. Connor, and stop the inanimate shenanigans. It’s really twisting me into knots!
Dr. Solomon: I wouldn’t normally say something like this, but in your case, why don’t you just have sex with someone else? Anybody else?
I blushed hard at his suggestion and turned away a bit to not look him in the eyes.
Goliath: ‘Cause I’m a virgin. I don’t have anybody I’d even want to try that with, let alone casually.
He scribbled more notes in his notebook.
Dr. Solomon: Ah, I see.
He put his pen in his mouth as if in thought. I just wrung my hands together.
Dr. Solomon: How about just telling him how you feel? Or at least trying to figure out if he’s even remotely interested?
Goliath: Are you kidding? Nurse to a doctor? I’m too meek…
I peered at the bull sitting across from me.
Goliath: You’re not gay are you?
He let out a sigh,
Dr. Solomon: No, I’m not.
Goliath: Then I don’t know if you understand the full breadth of this. It’s not like I can just walk up and ask him out on a date man to man if I don’t know.
Dr. Solomon: Is it though?
I shook my head, a little disappointed.
He leaned forward in his chair again,
Dr. Solomon: Okay. I’m not gay. But, that doesn’t mean I know nothing. You’ve given me a much more complete picture than I think you realize. You’re just too close to it right now to see it the way I do.
He gestured with his pen,
Dr. Solomon: Why is Dr. Connor stern with you?
Goliath: Sometimes I daydream at work. It used to not be so bad, I could keep it contained. But once Dr. Hunky Lion entered the scene, it’s much more frequent and I get in trouble.
Dr. Solomon: And the fantasies are about…
Goliath: … Dr. Hunky Lion.
Dr. Solomon: You mean, Dr. Connor.
I just stared at the bull.
Dr. Solomon: I get the impression, Goliath, that there are a number of things in your life that have been distorted by your desires.
Goliath: What do you mean?
Dr. Solomon: Things in your life may not be what they seem. You need to look at things objectively before you can appreciate them, not the other way around.
Now I was a little irritated.
Goliath: Oh, I get it. You’re saying I need to look dispassionately at my plight and realize that, objectively speaking, I have no chance so it’s not worth pursuing and torturing myself over. Nice and neat.
Dr. Solomon: I’m saying that even now, the distortion remains strong. This is going to take practice and an open mind, but I think it’s the only way to ground your circuit.
Dr. Solomon: Our time is up, though. Should we make another appointment? We can discuss what looking at things objectively really means.
Goliath: Well, this week maybe it’ll be the shower curtain, or my winter gloves… god, I hope it’s not the toaster.
Dr. Solomon: Mr. Hammereau, I know it’s frustrating, but I believe continued therapy would be fruitful for you…
Goliath: I’m going to have to think about it. Can I make an appointment later?
Dr. Solomon sighed,
Dr. Solomon: Sure, you can call the front desk during normal business hours.
Goliath: Thanks, Dr. Solomon. I’ll be seeing you.
Dr. Solomon: I hope so.
—-
Dr. Connor: So, Mr. Fetalisk…
Mr. Fetalisk: Just call me Fetters, that’s what everybody calls me.
Dr. Connor: Okay, Fetters, what is an upstanding hyena like you doing getting stabbed in the arm?
The hyena gave out a chuckle.
Oh, the Doctor is so good with these patients. So gentle and understanding, he really shows his soft side under that rough exterior…
Dream Dr. Connor: Goliath… look deep into my eyes. I understand your degenerate soul completely…
Fetters: You think a guy named Fetters, a street name, is an upstanding hyena doc?
Dr. Connor: Nurse, apply the antibiotic ointment while I prepare the stitching.
Dream Dr. Connor: Let me run my paws through your wool…
Dr. Connor: Goliath!
Goliath: Oh! Oh, right, Doctor. Here you go Mr. Fetalisk…
Fetters: It’s just Fetters, thanks.
Goliath: Hmm?
Fetters: The name is Fetters, you got that?
Goliath: Oh, sorry about that, right.
Dr. Hunky Lion gave me a side eye flare before returning to the hyena.
Dr. Connor: Okay, I’m going to apply an analgesic around the wound to numb your arm… and then we’ll stitch you up. We just have to wait a couple of minutes.
Fetters: Thanks, doc. You know, you’re a good one.
Dr. Connor: A good one?
Fetters: You’re a good doctor. Calling me upstanding. Heh, I guess maybe I could be upstanding if it wasn’t for the drugs. But really, Doc, you treat all us right, never looking down on us. I appreciate that.
Dr. Connor: What’s to look down on? You’re just like everyone else, trying to do their best in life.
Man. I’ve never wanted to be stabbed in the arm so much.
Dream Dr. Connor: Goliath, I believe in you, you can do anything!
Dr. Connor: Alright, nurse, needle, please.
Dream Dr. Connor: Let me inject you with my love…
Dr. Connor: Goliath, please!
Goliath: Oh, sorry, here Dr. Connor.
I handed him the needle with an apologetic look on my face.
Fetters: I’m glad you’re doing this doc.
With that, I just took it and hung my head low.
I did manage to watch Dr. Hunky Lion expertly sew up the gash on the hyena’s arm. His large paws worked with meticulous precision, but I couldn’t help imagining that meticulousness all over my erogenous zones… oh god, I need his paws in my…
Dr. Connor: Scissors, Goliath, for the last time. Cut!
I snapped back to reality again, and once again both Dr. Hunky Lion and Mr. Shifty Hyena were glaring at me. I timidly raised the scissors into place and snipped.
Goliath: There you…
Dr. Connor: There you go, Fetters, you’ll be good as new.
Fetters: However good that was…
All three of us stepped out of the examination room, first Dr. Hunky Lion, then Mr. Shifty Hyena, and finally me.
Dr. Connor: It’s just that way and to the left at the corner Fetters.
Fetters: Thanks, doc.
Dr. Hunky Lion snapped his gloves off, as did I. He rubbed his paws together and let out an exhale. He started walking to the water cooler, so I just kinda followed… mostly to admire his fine ass.
We both drew a cold drink, though I think he barely even noticed I was there. We stood slightly apart, Dr. Hunky Lion was stoic and standoffish as always.
That’s when Nurse Delaney, a lion nurse that also worked in the emergency room sidled up and also got a drink. She batted her eyes at Dr. Hunky Lion, while I just rolled mine.
Nurse Delaney: Hi, Dr. Connor <3 …
Dr. Connor: Oh, hi Nurse Delaney. Almost didn’t see you there.
I turned away, the fantasy already in full swing in my mind’s theater.
Nurse Delaney: Well, I definitely saw you.
Dream Dr. Connor: Nurse Delaney, has anyone ever told you that you have the most enchanting eyes?
Dr. Connor: Oh, is that so. Well, yeah, here I am.
Dream Goliath (dressed as Nurse Delaney): No, but it takes a real gentleman to notice things like that in a woman. You must be very romantic…
Nurse Delaney: So, Dr. Connor, words going around that you’re a bachelor. You might even say the most eligible bachelor in town.
Dream Dr. Connor: Let me see them closer…
Dr. Connor: *Ahem* you could say that. Yep, living up the bachelor life in my, uh, swinging bachelor pad.
Nurse Delaney: You ever think you might want a little company Doctor? A bit of a feminine touch in your life?
Dream Goliath: Oh, Doctor, not in front of the patients.
Dr. Connor: Are you asking me what I think you’re asking me?
Nurse Delaney: Think you might want a little company tonight, David?
Dr. Connor: [Flustered] Maybe some other time Delaney.
[Dream Connor and Dream Goliath kiss]
Nurse Delaney: [Upset] Oh, really? They said you’d be a pushover, but apparently not for me! What is it, you don’t like girls?
[Dr. Connor blushes as Nurse Delaney leaves, then gets an irritated look. He turns to the oblivious and elated starry-eyed Goliath.]
Dr. Connor: Nurse Goliath!
I jumped, literally, out of my reverie.
Dr. Connor: Conference room 2, stat!
I shoved my gloves in my pocket absentmindedly. I was in trouuuuble. I scurried into the meeting room and sat down.
Dr. Connor gruffly stomped in, an air of total discontent about him. His forehead was bulging, and his eyes were fierce. The whole thing was just too sexy to bear. My mind was in overdrive.
He sat down across from me,
Dr. Connor: Nurse Goliath, we’ve got to talk about your performance.
Goliath: Always ready for duty, sir!
All I could see in my mind’s eye was a black leather-clad Dr. Hunky Lion holding a black whip.
Dr. Connor: No, you’re not! Every time I look at you these last couple of days you’re somewhere else.
*crack* The whip sounds fantastic!
Goliath: But, I’m always by your side.
Dr. Connor: I don’t mean here physically, nurse; I mean here mentally. You’re constantly in la la land!
Dream Dr. Connor: Come on gimp, shape up!
Dream Goliath: Yes, sir!
I felt something moving in my lap.
I looked down and there was a fully capable nitrile glove, disembodied of course, unzipping my khakis.
My eyes shot up. Here!? It’s happening here!?
I felt it fishing for my now growing erection.
Dr. Connor looked pretty irritated, which didn’t help things, and I realized there had been a pause in the dialogue.
Dr. Connor: Are you there now Nurse? Come on!
Goliath: No, uh…
My dick sprung out from its underwear prison, hidden under the table. The nitrile’s textured fingertips started caressing it.
Goliath: Uh, hah, I’m right here Doctor. I’m listening, you have my full attention.
Dr. Connor: Take the last patient, Mr. Fetalisk. He told us how he wanted to be addressed and you missed it, making him repeat himself.
Dream Dr. Connor: *crack* Who’s your master little lamb?
Goliath: Mm-hmm
I bit my upper lip as the glove was outright stroking my cock quickly. I could feel an intensity, but I was trying hard to stay focused.
Dr. Connor: When patients don’t feel like we’re listening, all of us, nurses and doctors, then they start to lose confidence and don’t trust us as much.
I nodded. The glove was now focusing on the most sensitive tip, getting me so close…
Dr. Connor: It is imperative that we are trustworthy as an institution. Impeccable, even. Else people won’t come to us with their problems.
Dream Dr. Connor: *stepping on with boot* Get your ass in line little sheep [tightens the whip in his paws]
Goliath: Oh, no… oh god…
My member started to twitch and recoil like a gun barrel as it started shooting wads of cum onto the bottom of the desk.
Dr. Connor: That’s right. Without enough trust, people won’t listen to us. You saw how important it was that people got vaccinated last pandemic, and how insidious misinformation can be. Listening to patients is the first step in building that trust. Do you understand?
In the heat of the moment, I saluted. I don’t know why I saluted, but there I was.
Goliath: Yes sir! Shape up, step in line, I get it, sir.
Dr. Hunky Lion hung his head in frustration. Then he looked up with a defeated face, a face I hadn’t really seen before.
Dr. Connor: You weren’t listening, again.
What was this?
The lion stood up just as the zipper on my khakis had finished closing. His shoulders looked slack and he looked up like he had failed at something.
Dr. Connor: Listen to this nurse. This could mean your job. If you can’t do the work, you can’t have the job. It’s not just up to me.
And with that, he left.
I’d never seen Dr. Connor look like that. Despite the afterglow coursing through my body, it was almost like something smacked me in the face.
I was stunned.
—-
Over the next couple of weeks, I tried to avoid Dr. Connor at work much to my own surprise. Because of that, unsurprisingly, my performance improved.
Course, I was still racked with fantasies in my off hours. At this point, I was bordering on a subconscious obsession, and I was suspicious now of every object in my apartment. Yet, I didn’t call Dr. Solomon back either.
I hated it. This personal hell was really getting to me. I actually started pondering over what the Doctor had said.
But I still couldn’t imagine myself confessing my true feelings to such a stern, stoic, and strong man. What if he rejected me? Or worse, told me what I already knew: that he’d never go out with a pathetically weak underling like me.
These had become the thoughts that filled my head after I succumbed and let the vacuum suck me off on the couch.
What had my life turned into?
But then, it all changed in an instant.
After work, I was plodding my way across the intersection to my oversexed car when I heard voices, and then a scuffle.
I kept stepping forward, looking all around me for the source. My wool began to stand on end.
???: Shut it, doc!
Someone was in trouble! Without really knowing why I turned into an alleyway I usually pass right by. That’s when I saw Dr. Connor behind a dumpster. His paws were in the air, and he was looking at something, or someone, with a terrified expression.
Dr. Connor: Fetters, you don’t have to do this…
Mr. Fetalisk!
Fetters: Would you give me the money if I just asked?
Dr. Connor: Not for drugs, no.
Fetters: Then I gotta do this old mane.
He stepped into view finally. The hyena was dressed badly and looked like he hadn’t showered in a week. A pretty sizeable blad was in his right paw. Neither of them had noticed me… yet.
Dr. Connor: Please just take whatever you want…
What was he doing? Someone as strong and aggressive as Dr. Connor could easily take this guy!
Fetters: That’s not enough!
The lion was fumbling trying to get his wallet out.
Fetters: Why do you think we’re near the parking garage? We’re going to your nice fancy doctor house and I’m going to take all your nice fancy doctor things.
I watched, furrowing my brow, scared.
Dr. Connor: Th-that’s not a very good plan, Fetters. You know that…
Fetters grabbed the Doctor’s shirt collar and pulled him close to his face, the knife at his neck.
Fetters: Shut up doc! Or I’ll…
I had run up behind Fetters during the commotion. I wrapped my arm around his neck in a chokehold.
Fetters: Gah!
But I had never been in a fight, so it wasn’t much work for Fetters to cut the back of my hand, causing me to release my hold. He turned to face me.
I looked at the Doctor, who seemed almost frozen in place.
Fetters: Well, well…. Earth to nursie! Earth to nursie! Time for a reality check…
He lunged at me, but somehow I grasped the hand holding the knife. Adrenaline is amazing. Now it was a battle between wills, as the knife moved towards me, then him, then me.
The doctor was still frozen in place.
Goliath: DOOOOC!
Then, despite the efforts of both my paws the knife sunk right into my thigh.
I stammered back, which must’ve surprised Fetters cause he let go of the knife. But, in his shock laid my chance.
I screamed a primal scream, one you might expect from the doctor, but it was coming from me.
I lunged, grabbing both of the ears of the hyena and headbutt his face. All the force of my body, from my feet, my arms, to my back, met with his snout via my very very hard horns.
He was immediately flung to the ground, hitting the back of his head. Blood was oozing from his snout.
Then I screamed again as I pulled the blade out of my thigh and held it up aggressively.
The hyena’s eyes were wide with terror and intimidation and he quickly scrambled to his feet, holding his face. He started running away.
Fetters: My snout! You broke my fucking snout!
He turned the corner and disappeared.
I immediately fell to the dirty pavement and onto a small pool of my own blood. My paws were over my thigh, trying to stop the bleeding. Tears were finally running down my face,
Goliath: Dooooc!
The lion just stared at me blankly, frozen.
I wasn’t thinking clearly anymore.
Goliath: Doo-, ugh-uh, -ooc. David.
I sobbed, writhing in agony.
Goliath: I love you, David! Oh god… ugh… I love you dammit!
Then I guess everything went black.
—-
The next thing I remembered I was in a hospital bed. Nurse Delaney was at my side, monitoring.
I groaned and blinked my eyes.
Nurse Delaney: Oh, are we awake this time?
Goliath: Ugh, who’s we? What happened?
Nurse Delaney: That sounds awake. I’ll go get the doctor.
I was pretty woozy. I was trying to piece together what happened, and how I got here.
Goliath: Doc? Doctor Connor?
The doctor entered the room.
Dr. Calvin: No, I’m afraid not Mr. Hammereau, it’s just me, Dr. Calvin. I’ve been the one observing you.
I tried to shift my position when a sharp pain shot upward from my thigh.
Goliath: Oh Jesus!
Dr. Calvin: Try not to move too much Mr. Hammereau,
Goliath: Just, ugh, call me Goliath.
Dr. Calvin smiled,
Dr. Calvin: Alright, Goliath.
He put his clipboard at his side.
Dr. Calvin: You’re lucky Mr. Ham… Goliath. If the blade had just been a couple of inches over, your femoral artery would’ve been severed.
Goliath: Ugh.
Dr. Calvin: But as it stands now, you’ll be able to move out of inpatient soon and begin physical therapy in out.
I winced at even the thought of moving. I lifted my bandaged hand and gave it the side-eye.
Goliath: But, how did I end up here?
Dr. Calvin: From what I understand, Nurse Delaney saw the scene in the alleyway by the parking garage. You were unconscious and bleeding out on the pavement while Dr. Connor was sitting beside you shaking in shock. She called the paramedics and we got you in here.
My mind flashed back to David standing there, motionless. It’s like he wasn’t even there.
He didn’t save me?
Nurse Delaney popped her head in the door.
Nurse Delaney: He’s got a visitor.
Dr. Calvin: Is it?
Nurse Delany nodded her head silently.
Dr. Calvin: Looks like your daily visitor is back Goliath. They’ve been by your side since you went under.
I couldn’t imagine who it could be. Had my Mom come down to tend to me?
Dr. Connor stepped into the room, holding a small bouquet of flowers and some cards.
Dr. Calvin: We’ll just let you two be…
The eagle and lioness left the room, and soon it fell silent. Dr. Connor was the first to break the silence.
Dr. Connor: I, uh, brought these for you. They’re from all the nurses and doctors in ER wishing you well.
He placed the cards on my bedside table.
Goliath: Even the bouquet?
The lion looked down and took a breath. I furrowed my brow. He raised his chin up and sputtered quietly,
Dr. Connor: No. The bouquet is from me. Just me.
Goliath: Dr. Connor…
He looked nervously to the left, away from me.
Goliath: David. What happened out there?
David took a few steps and slumped into one of the visitor chairs. He tilted his head back to look at the ceiling.
David: I was walking back to the parking garage and I was so absorbed in the work of the day I guess I didn’t notice Fetters in that alleyway. But… he was there, waiting for his prey. My mind wasn’t where it was supposed to be.
Goliath: Hmph.
David: I know. Well, next thing I know he’s come up behind me and forced me into the alleyway. That’s where he started to mug me.
Goliath: I know.
David looked down. His eyes looked like they wanted to cry, but they just couldn’t. They were stuck in agony.
David: …
Goliath: …
David: I heard what you said, Goliath.
Goliath: When?
David: I think you kow when.
Now it was my turn to look sideways,
Goliath: Oh…
David scooted his chair closer to the hospital bed.
David: I’d had these problems ever since I was a kid, Goliath, it’s not just with you.
David: I was tall, I might say handsome,
He chuckled self-deprecatingly,
David: Both my father and my older brother were valedictorian of their high school, so I guess I had to be too. Every box was getting checked for the guy voted most likely to succeed.
Goliath: David…
The lion put a paw on mine,
David: Just listen, please. I could’ve been it all, good-looking, intelligent, suave… popular. And believe me, I wanted to! But, reality has a funny way of intervening.
David: Even as early as sixth grade, I began to get the feeling that people didn’t just think I was different but KNEW I was different. In the locker room, I just knew all the other boys could see it, somehow.
David: From that point forward, that metaphysical deformity continued to shape my life. I got more capable, particularly at delivering a verbal beat down, and I got a few friends, but I still stood out.
David: A few girls asked me out, but it never worked. I was unreachable. And I even asked a couple of my closest friends to be my boyfriends, but reality always came crashing down.
David: My brothers dated, had sex. My classmates dated, had sex. I never got anything. I was too smart, too weird, and of course the only gay kid. The only one. I had to grow up apart from everyone.
David: My father didn’t have any friends when he died. I finally understood one day why: nobody could measure up, nobody could touch him, not even my mom.
David: And that’s how I’ve lived. On the outside, it’s this great fantasy of the suave, strong, genius doctor out there saving lives.
Goliath: David, you froze! You could’ve helped me and you froze!
He tightened his grip on my paw.
David: I know Goliath! I know!
He hung his head,
David: That’s the inside. That’s reality crashing down on everything again: just a terrified little sixth grader still stuck, naked, in a locker room.
Finally, he began to cry, and I could hear it in his voice,
David: Do you love what I’m supposed to be Goliath, or do you love the paralyzed scrawny sixth grader I really am?
Goliath: David…
He looked up at me as I spoke, tears trailing from his eyes.
Goliath: In my mind, you were everything you were supposed to be.
He sucked in some air in anticipation.
Goliath: In my mind, you’ve always been strong, in control, suave, intelligent, sexy, but most of all, I’ve realized, gentle.
I looked away this time,
Goliath: I’m at fault too you know. All those times you caught me daydreaming? I was fantasizing about you. But, I made you into something you’re really not.
The lion sobbed,
David: And now the truth’s out, and you probably don’t want anything to do with the disappointment I’ve become…
I sat up and put my other paw on his paw.
Goliath: David, listen. I’m not disappointed! My god, man, you’re me! I’m a scrawny meek little gay boy who, until now, lived in a world of fantasy. Fuck, I’m still a virgin.
David: Like me.
Goliath: Just like you.
There was a small pause as we caught our breath.
Then, slightly at first, we started to just laugh.
Goliath: This must be what Dr. Solomon meant.
David: Who?
Goliath: A guy who told me to face reality.
David spread his arms out,
David: Well, this is it. What do you think?
Goliath: I like what I’m seeing. A lot.
I started to pull David’s collar towards me with my good paw. He leaned in close with a hesitant look on his face. Finally, within reach, I kissed him.
People talk about time standing still during a kiss.
That didn’t happen.
This kiss found itself in the midst of all the moments. All the tears on pillows, all the desperate spank sessions, all the unknown longing gazes, and all the room in our little secret hearts.
When we parted, David looked back at me with the warmest eyes I’d ever seen on him.
David: I have a key to lock the door.
I just raised my eyebrows and nodded in the direction of the door. He quickly rushed over and locked it, pulling any and every curtain in the room.
I laughed. I laughed at just how much more strange reality turned out, and yet, so much better than any desperate fantasy.
The next thing I knew, David was standing by my bed, naked. His lion cock was already fully erect.
David: So, what do I do first?
Goliath: How the hell should I know?
We both laughed again.
David then lifted my cover down to reveal my hospital gown. Thankfully, it hadn’t been fastened behind me. With a gentle hesitation, he lifted it over my head and to the side.
The sun was setting, and through the window, the light gave our naked bodies a warm glow.
David: God, you’re beautiful.
Goliath: Ditto!
He began to run his paw over my belly, and then through my chest fuzz. I tried to reciprocate by feeling his wonderful hip and butt, his cock bobbing in the air. It twitched with excitement, just like mine.
He stood closer to me and maneuvered my paw onto his hard, yet soft, member. It was so warm. He guided my paw up and down his shaft, and then let go.
Suddenly I felt his paw on my expectant member.
We looked into each other’s eyes with gentleness.
With love.
—-
After that night, I can say, my belongings simply stayed platonic. This was, surprisingly, to my relief.
David and I had started seeing each other. I was also practicing seeing more of what actually was rather than what I wanted to see.
I guess Dr. Solomon knew what it was like all along.
Small comfort.