Just so everyone’s clear here, and there isn’t any excuse for misremembering, confusion, or the ever-present ignorance, this ‘broken nobody’ with presumably nothing to offer is reiterating the following:
Kerzner Mediarts no longer has permission to use the concept, likeness, or name of the original character above (as featured on the Kickstarter for BOSSFIGHT: Song of Sparklemuffin) Armand Heißerwulf. This character was “borrowed” from a yet-to-be-released computer game title that I’ve actively been developing for the last four years (alongside the also-yet-to-be-released Miwaku 魅惑 Engine), but which has already been documented (as you can see above).
I Was Never Involved With The Project
There was no formal agreement, no contract, no transfer of ownership, no license, or any other document that outlined usage of my intellectual property beyond my friendship and good will. None of those things were implied by any involvement of mine with the project because, contrary to the implications (or otherwise) Liana Kerzner has offered elsewhere, repeatedly, that I’ve been lying (a blanket statement), I was never involved with the project:
To the public, I present (again) what I consider the final statement on the matter by Dr. Mark Bourrie, Ph.D JD, counsel to Steven and Liana Kerzner.
This runs directly counter to the narrative Liana Kerzner fostered in public spaces (such as her Discord) over the last year and more: that I actively and knowingly contributed my intellectual efforts and judgment to Maus’ decision process regarding project development and was responsible for unspecified aspects of its fulfillment.
According to statements made by Liana Kerzner, I made decisions, alongside Maus, that had irrational and unprofessional bases, such as my “furry porn game” being of utmost arbitrary paramount to my mental well being, another falsehood.
You can read the entirety of this now-published letter of, frankly, institutional intimidation (in my purely laymen’s opinion) in my post And Then There’s This.
Mutually Reciprocal Conversations
These are gross misrepresentations of intimate, mutually reciprocal conversations between my husband Maus and Liana Kerzner regarding whatever struggles I was having, many of which she, directly or indirectly, Liana encouraged (such as the surreptitious recording of my ‘ragers’ that I didn’t want anyone to ever hear; and to others, no, not being able to share them with everyone is not an abusive boundary, for Christ’s sake, it’s called being in an intimate relationship).
[ED: previously I wrote the conversations were ‘one-sided,’ here, but that is an incorrect phrasing; I’ve updating this to reflect that these conversations were mutually reciprocal, and Liana shared quite a bit about her husband’s personal struggles, hence, the shared recordings (!)]
I became aware of those recordings shortly after, and, being quite understanding and secure in his friendship with Liana, forgave his indiscretion. However, I informed him that was a bad idea, in my opinion, and it was really weird that Liana was sharing similar recordings of her own. Liana imagined a completely different scenario and relationship in her mind, probably akin to her own, and attempted to lob this seeming revelation like a bomb. It was quite revealing, yes, but not of what she hoped.
Not only can Maus attest that wasn’t something that was established, as well as my mother and other witnesses, but also that the situation had no bearing on the project at all because I wasn’t involved.
It “significantly delayed” nothing.
It’s yet another completely irrelevant detail to include in a highly inflammatory appeal to normativity, a manufactured narrative intended to, as it appears to me, by my perception, portray me as an immature, disconnected-from-reality, and nonsensical 42-year-old man who flings my mental illness around as a bludgeoning weapon to coerce others into fulfilling whatever whim I have that week as opposed to denying any conscious involvement through a summoning of CPTSD symptoms, as is appropriate.
(“waaaaah mental illness!” ~ Liana Kerzner’s description, under the undue influence of an uncontrollable trauma response, I’m sure, that others are somehow responsible for, despite her insistent advice that no one can “make” anyone feel anything.)
The Self-Professed Professional Communicator
This is very far from the objective reality of what occurred, which is much more relevant than what Liana Kerzner came to understand at that moment from my distressed husband of 21 years when it comes to stating the truth as a self-professed professional communicator.
In one Patreon update,1 years ago (2020), around the time Liana was openly talking about her consultation work on Hank’s Inferno (at least on Patreon), she wrote,
“… Explaining myself should not unduly compromise the dignity of others. …”
Despite leading me to expect this to be the case, this ideal was thrown out the window when the correct opportunity presented itself four years later. For anyone not paying attention, this is a surprisingly common occurrence, actually.
And, on top of it, as stated, what she claims in the cancellation video isn’t even true. It is demonstrably false, and anything still left unresolved will be demonstrated in time.
I have stated, profusely, repeatedly, and with conviction, that I was never involved, my story never changing, while Liana has doubled-down on a manufactured narrative slanted against me in blanket statements across the board, claiming, falsely, that I was lying.
And, as I’ve already said, profusely, repeatedly, and with conviction, I was not lying, and I do not lie. I make sure everything I say can be backed up. And if, for some reason, it turns out I made a mistake and it can’t, I immediately retract and correct, always publicly, and strive to make any amends.
This evidence-based approach to discourse includes the claim, and fact, that I’ve been impersonated as well to my, and many others’, emotional detriment.2
To me, unresolved conflicts, avoided conflicts, and avoiding conflicts, bears the worst fruits of destruction I’ve ever experienced. This is why I appear so “conflict-driven,” because, whenever there is a conflict, I pursue it until it’s resolved to my satisfaction.
Relentlessly.
Sometimes other people, many not even involved, don’t like that. Unless they can show me demonstrable harm on my part, to them I say, “Oh well.”
I never aim to run roughshod over anyone, that’s malicious bullying. I respect legitimate boundaries (on which I’m extraordinarily clear) and people’s abilities to achieve a peace of mind, but I don’t abstain from acting at the expense of my peace of mind, my interests, or my rights. I don’t sacrifice myself like that. I don’t see that as a valuable thing to do, ever, all the way down. I don’t do altruism. This is important later.
Liana should’ve been fully aware of this, and, when convenient, she’s able to cite aspects of my telling her all about it in detail, even acknowledging it in a Maya Angelou citation of personal growth where she realized she just can’t be that good of a person, by not believing people when they say things, or she gets hurt.
Every one of Liana’s alleged virtues is also a huge liability that’s always biting her in the ass.
I would argue those aren’t virtues as virtues are usually spoken of, at least in normative ethics circles.
And, when it seemingly suits the narrative (from my, perhaps, biased perspective), she has an uncontrollable (but proud of it) trauma response and misremembers everything in a haze of vindictive vitriol where she very publicly engages in “drama” (which, mind you, she hates, like she hates the Sims) and tells her “haters” they have no followers, and to stop virtual-reality flirting with furries far too young for them while being in a committed relationship, or…
This has been demonstrated, over and over and over, for the last year and several months, culminating (to use her linguistic pattern) in her going on what she’d most likely describe as “an impulsive rampage of lashing out stemming from a deep self-loathing from childhood and manifesting as a narcissistic moral injury…”
If she wasn’t describing her own behavior. In that case, we all know exactly what it was: a trauma response, of course. One where fear and hurt masquerade as anger and cruelty. One where she thrashed about fairly irrelevant personal details of my husband and I’s lives (at best inaccurate, and at worst slanted to all fuck) for no rational reason than to embarrass us. She says it herself in the descriptions of her behavior and motivations. To paraphrase (but only slightly), “I held back. I was trying to protect them. I ran interference, and ended up eating shit and in debt, and I’m done.”
In short, I’d confidently summarize it as:
‘I didn’t want them to have to suffer at society’s hands because of their behavior, so I mistakenly protected them and they stabbed me in the back for it.’
A paraphrased summary of Liana Kerzner’s stance on her behavior during Twitter “drama” and regarding all aspects of our situation.
We never asked for protection. We never wanted protection. This is important later.
We were never in danger of suffering at society’s hands because of our behavior anymore than we were before my husband became friends with Liana. With no attempts to, I demonstrate, all the time, that I live my life unashamed, unapologetically, openly, and freely, as best I can.
I live my life in a way that most everyone in my life already knew most of the information she presented, but accurately. People don’t believe me, but, everyone actually in my life knows who I am, what I do, and loves me for it. In person, people generally appreciate stark honesty with heart, and I’m very honest, and also, I’m a pretty loveable guy, actually; warm, understanding, and understatedly affectionate… but I digress.
I thought Liana was one of these people. I feel I had every reason to. I was wrong. She could attest to this experience, but, I doubt she ever will now. She did before, but, no one “constructive” ever seems to care about Liana’s past.
What we are in danger of suffering under is Liana Kerzner’s trauma-response wrath with real, highly tangible consequences:
She claimed a whole slew of things, leaving out all sorts of important details that didn’t suit her manufactured narrative. Such as those little flirty furries being in their fucking thirties… they’re grown ass adults…
So… what the fucking fuck? Seriously. Are we really policing people’s relationships to ge… oh wait, yes, yes we are.
One claim in particular appears to have flown by unnoticed by anyone, which is understandable. It was a lot of ugliness. She speculated, in that bizarre diarrhea-like tirade of vitriol, that our computers were hacked because she had received the text of the letter I sent to Dr. Bourrie, through a contact form or some such, before I sent it to Dr. Bourrie.
I’m not surprised by this, however. I had already published large segments of that letter, so literally anyone could copy-paste. This may seem small, but it has far reaching consequences, consequences she is fully aware of, as she very publicly cites my husband’s source of income (our sole source of income we’re lucky to have) as perhaps being compromised.
The purpose was clear.
Liana Kerzner went after my husband’s meager employment all while she cried foul over me somehow exercising magical powers over her own career (I don’t.)
The Audacity Of Going After A Livelihood
And the response? The outrage that might normally follow?
Liana Kerzner doesn’t care about facts. She doesn’t care about how anyone in conflict with real, far reaching stakes, not just raging about over-identifications with The Fantastic Four, ends up; not their safety, not their situation, and not their dignity.
However…
When the facts must be appealed to, such as in a legal matter, the Kerzners will privately disclose what I knew to be true all along. My pure speculation (as a layman) is that they hope their lawyer’s actions, while acting very little like a lawyer and more like an instrument of institutional intimidation by extension in my opinion, will intimidate me into overlooking it in either a mistaken relief of finally getting things settled, or out of fear that if I say anything, further damage will occur.
To note, my husband and I have not yet secured counsel, as we currently can’t afford it, though, that didn’t stop Dr. Mark Bourrie, Ph.D JD from sending threatening messages with demands in what amount to “Christmas cards,” according to Liana Kerzner (speaking about her stalker’s letters of libel without prejudice on her Discord).
Dr. Bourrie appears to sometimes forget, in my layman’s opinion, that he’s not law enforcement, or a representative of the court, and cannot enforce such demands. He’s just a person who happens to practice law, allegedly, while promoting his books. There was never any need or requirement (he already had our address).
We have no reason to meet, or care, about his demands (that I guess, personally, were made to trick us into premature counsel), or any of his communications since he (or is it Liana?) “isn’t looking for a debate,”3 on top of the fact that Dr. Mark Bourrie, Ph.D JD is extraordinarily unprofessional and inappropriate in his communications, complete with misgendering me after prior correct pronoun usage.
I am a cisgender male.
I suspect, being my own pure speculation, that I became “Ms Wolfstein” after Dr. Bourrie observed me use the term ‘dysphoria’ when explaining why I wasn’t making my own public videos. I used that term in relation to the dysphoria I experience of presenting myself publicly without appearing as an anthropomorphic wolf-skunk (a proper costume would go a great deal towards relieving this psychological barrier. and is something I’m securing).
Here are the two documents that have previously been published for the public’s perusal to verify my claims:
As long as we’re throwing around accusations of transphobia sans discretion over the last year, I’d like to argue that, if the adjective “manipulative” is tantamount to an entire Kiwi-Farms-originating narrative, changing my pronouns mid-communication would qualify as well. I’m not transgender, I’m trans-species, something I firmly established publicly a year or more ago.
After Liana Kerzner of Kerzner Mediarts ended the friendship by violating my boundary, of which I have them as well as Liana and everyone else, my good will was revoked.
I cannot be in a relationship with someone who lies about me to the public, like using the phrase “they refused to comply with this process.”
Given that, approaching Liana “in private” was out of the question, as it was immediately self-evident further communications with her would be unsafe. A statement of intent similar to this has already been published and firmly established in the public.
With one preestablished exception, Steven and Liana Kerzner are also further barred from being involved in anything I offer in the future: they are banned from doing business with any of my enterprises, banned from participating in any events, banned from obtaining a license to any of my software, even if open source (there will be provisions made for this), and banned from communicating with me directly. The exception is Liana’s much discussed, by her, purchase of a Lifetime package from Novelty Factor Hosting, to which she still has access. If the Kerzner’s are open, Original Pursuits LLC is eager to refund that purchase and all previous purchases, whereupon Steven, Liana, and all associated interests, are permanently banned from all online services maintained by Original Pursuits LLC now and perpetually.
Since I’m on the topic, I also want to clarify my release of the “chat transcript” between me and Liana. I have spoken at length about it elsewhere, particularly on the post itself, but I still haven’t given extensive comment on how I specifically interpret what happened. In the latest archival re-post of that transcript (which is way more accessible now in my opinion) I give a peek into what I think of how that contentious encounter went down: I kept firm as fuck boundaries that refused to allow a strange woman in clearly manipulative distress to insert herself, her perspective, and her highly inappropriate mental health diagnoses masquerading as ‘advice’ into my psyche, all the while using my dead father’s memory (who died by dramatic suicide) both as bludgeon and as motivation… as my true friend who knows the truth I just refuse to hear.
I’m an adult, not a child. And I’m definitely not her child. I have a mother, thank you.
And since then all of my behavior has been implicitly framed as needing approval or acceptance from either her, or some other vague, and highly capricious, social body. When I don’t get it I “explode,” “throw tantrums,” and “rage” uncontrollably. She told my husband, Maus, while he was watching me at my computer begin to sob (an incredibly rare thing for me) that I was “enraged, seething, and out of control with anger!” That’s why she knows I was crying. Not because Maus needed her to feel guilt, but because she was so convinced she knew what things really were as opposed to how they were that it was getting emotionally dangerous, and, I don’t know a greater marker for cruelty, intentional or not, than that.
She persisted in this framing in her very next video where she talked about two men, one of which was ‘fighting the other man’s battles’ and telling her that I was crying because of her actions. She refrained from pointing out to the general public that we were two married gay men despite a professed dedication to accuracy. That would place our actions in a context that would make more sense, however, and be less flattering to her feminine (but not feminine) insights and indignation. Despite this, I know that her inner audience, having been on the fringe of it, would be aware, quite quickly, who she was talking about.
This dissonance is exceptionally strange, and to me, telling.
I do not seek permission for my actions. I do not seek approval for my stances, behaviors, thoughts, and feelings, and I have no idea how I could make this any clearer over the last year. For anyone to truly conclude otherwise they have to actively ignore everything I do and only listen to someone they believe really knows… somehow… despite it never quite “making sense.” (Liana’s own words)
It’s a cult. And in this cult, I no longer exist as a person. And given how things are in the world right now, I cannot describe how truly terrifying that is to me as part of a mental health community, it’s unfathomable. But… it’s quietly accepted, because, Liana has boundaries that must be respected, like, not reading what I write (this is the functional effect of “don’t engage,” and “mass report,” both orders form her Discord).
This last year and some months have demonstrated an individual that will ‘sink’ to whatever ‘low’ necessary to proactively control the public narrative (perception) of anyone who is inconvenient to her, all while appealing to everyone else’s good will. She harps on honoring a friendship where there’s nothing to honor, not assuming her intents and motivations while injecting an entire psychological complex into mine, expecting to be treated better than she treats the people she blames for what amount to be her failures, calls to reasonableness, discretion, and cries of privacy violations after this entire situation has been predicated on an unprofessional and unnecessary breach of privacy.
The facts are that Liana Kerzner made a video where she announced the end of development on a project between her and my husband Maus where she not only unprofessionally disclosed information in a gratuitiously unnecessary fashion that she confesses was not hers to disclose in the first place, whether or not we were identified by her standards (unlike what Dr. Bourrie seems to try to assert, Liana’s intentions, are not the standard of reality, her impact is), and in the process presented a highly biased (“crossed moral boundaries”) and inaccurate account of events, including factual falsehoods such as “the team member’s spouse” refusing to “comply with [her] process.”
I never “refused to comply with this process,” which I have written about, from every exhaustive angle, over the last year, in public. This is just the tip of the iceberg.
The thing that people who make “professional disclosures” in this specific style seem to never take into account in their mad dash to scapegoat: you can’t include all these unnecessary details without making them absolutely necessary, especially when put forth in a line of argument and narrative such as the one found in the video.
My actions, whether I was named or not, I’m talking about the objective facts here, not whether she named me, are portrayed as paramount to the cancellation. That means they aren’t dismissible later as a side note that wasn’t really relevant, just extra information. Liana Kerzner based the entire decision, which was not coerced or forced upon her, on what she perceived as an accusation of “intentional cruelty” (that’s the accurate quote) after she purports a person who was completely uninvolved “refused to comply” with her social standards.
This is as if, to paraphrase Giancarlo Vanzzini, and to his rare credit, I believe on Kiwi Farms, your employer called your homemaker wife to tell her to shape up socially and stop bothering people, or else they’ll fire you.
It is extraordinarily inappropriate, and yet, her community and supporters (who are encouraged not to read any of this) don’t seem to think that’s “in her nature or character.” And granted, I didn’t either, until, of course, it happened to me, and my disbelief, in the face of things I did read and encounter (not all of which is factual) is my fault.
However, unlike I did with Liana, which she made a point of acknowledging, Liana never told me who she was. And this is a perfect illustration that what Liana Kerzner doesn’t tell you will hurt you. But now that I know, I feel an extra urgency to express the truth about it.
In short, you don’t “get to” have your cake and eat it too. The video isn’t “a comment on,” or a side note, or commentary, or an “observation,” or a “misremembering,” (with something this important, a responsible professional communicator looks up all that voluminous documentation to get it right). It’s a corollary to what her entire video and cancellation hinge on, regardless of later sidesteps in comments or otherwise. And she hasn’t denied it, but doubled down on this, claiming my behavior was entirely relevant, and in places less private than she imagines, that I was directly involved in development.
What she has told others since, in public discourse, has also been counter to the facts, inappropriate, biased, inflammatory, vastly overreaching in authority, and plain cruel.
As a professional communicator,4 if Liana Kerzner doesn’t want a conflict to be public, she should not make it public out of the gate. If Liana Kerzner desires less cruelty, she should try being less cruel.
Because Liana Kerzner, a mental health advocate with a radio show mind you, has a pernicious habit of inserting very convincing motivations and complexes, apparently, ‘into’ me in the eyes of others (this is known as narrative control, or narrative abuse; I have no legitimate access to my own narrative and am summarily unable to explain it, allegedly), I must pre-clarify:
I haven’t been hoping the Kerzner’s would ‘come clean’ for a long time. I’m not an idiot. I’ve accepted that will most likely never happen, and so, that’s not why I’m writing this. I’m not “finally fed up,” and “lashing out,” because I had some online fight somewhere, or because I’m transphobically frustrated at some other completely unrelated individual (it’s apparently shocking, but there just happen to be women in the world, and like with everyone, everywhere, of all types, I happen to get into conflicts with them), or because I just can’t live with the constant gnashing, or because I’m working through childhood trauma with my father (there isn’t any childhood trauma with my father I haven’t already worked through), or because I’m so utterly deranged I can’t even muster a consistent worldview, or…
Or…
You could just take me at face value, for once, if you haven’t tried yet, and see what I’m saying for what I’m saying. Liana Kerzner has no educational background in this, no license, no certification, very little to no training, demonstrates poor research skills and extremely poor moral judgment when it comes to journalistic integrity (endangering those who interact with her by always appealing to the people she wrongs to protect them, which… wow), and, most importantly,
Liana Kerzner is just as qualified as I am to come to ANY of these conclusions about ANYBODY.
Think about that.
No, really, and excuse my indignation at this point, sit the fuck down and really fucking think about that.
Just because she’s been on television doesn’t make her any more insightful than the rest of us. To me, she’s just another patient, and if we were in the hospital, she’d be quarantined for extremely inappropriate behavior towards other patient in regards to boundaries, believe me… I’ve seen the same behavior get just that treatment.
Liana Kerzner isn’t helping anyone in the long term in this pursuit to engage in mental health ‘content.’ She isn’t the future, unless mentally ill people nobody cares about are to receive worse services than they already are.
And she lies. And it will now be proven once and for all.
- Liana wrote, specifically (highlights mine):
Before I get into the highlights I added, I want to set up a touch of context. I have written extensively that my childhood dream, after I decided Nintendo Hotline Operator had time limits, has been to be a Game Designer. My first “hero” was Shigeru Miyamoto, a game design legend. I learned programming just to be a game designer (and learned that computers are awesome extensions of the will). Then, life derailed me (and I derailed myself) and, despite hundreds of ideas, it just, never quite happened. Amidst my myriad severe mental health struggles, I never got around to it, I guess.
But, with my husband’s relationship with Liana, I felt a renewed sense of hope. After attending PAX with her and my husband in connection with my husband and I’s dear friends Lori and Corey Cole (Maus coordinated this, not Liana; her being a Canadian public figure had nothing to do with this opportunity), particularly a “Sierra Alumni” party where I met Al Lowe and other famed designers (as well as some budding new ones) and I shared some of my ideas to party-goer’s undeniable fascination, I was looking forward to finally, maybe, getting a bit of a foot in the door and some renewed motivation, as well as recognition.
Liana demonstrates, above, an intimate knowledge of how this feels.
I began work on the Miwaku 魅惑 Engine, mentioned above and still in active development, and Maus and Liana began collaboration on BOSSFIGHT: Song of Sparklemuffin, without my involvement on purpose.
Regardless of what happened with the project, which, it happens, no big deal, I’ve got oodles of my own projects, I was suddenly faced with being thrust, against my consent, into a terrible situation, complete with “hit the Internet first” (~ Liana) prepackaged narrative. A negative narrative that future collaborators, potential employers, and other entities of reputation in ‘the industry’ could easily point to whenever convenient.
Because I got into an extremely short-lived “Twitter beef,” (an oft observed practice at this point in time) and used the word “manipulative” to describe specific manipulative behaviors that I described in hyperlexical, perhaps, detail.
Nobody had even had a chance to see my potential yet, and already Liana, for no real professional reason, connected disparate dots and placed this at the feet of a mentally ill person who’s already dismissed to carry. I hadn’t even done anything yet.
“This constant smearing of my integrity is the larger struggle underlying my despair with this situation. I’ve temporarily cracked under the strain of constant unfair criticism, outright verbal abuse, constant disingenuous questioning of my motives, and generally, people being more interested in destroying than in building. I finally have the opportunity to pursue my dream of making video games, and I’m completely mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted. It’s left me unable to deal with anything I don’t have 100% HAVE TO deal with.”
And she knows exactly how this feels, as we can see, and did it anyway.
Liana also knew that I suffered from a severe personality disorder my entire life, having had me participate in an interview about this very topic on her ‘mental health advocacy’ show, which is anything but, in my opinion. Refusing to remove a previous guest’s interview because they’re fed up with you misrepresenting them at every turn while profiting from perceived good will towards those with their condition due to that interview, is, well, the opposite of advocacy. It’s called exploitation.
And yet, when I arguably “temporarily cracked” and engaged in the pathological behavior of not interacting with anyone and blocking her for 2.5 weeks, which I ceased and immediately apologized for, Liana has treated it as something to “call bullshit” on for some reason. As if it was a surprise, despite me telling her, in the interview, that I “shut down.”
Yet, at the same time, every potential aspect of my disorder that might color my behavior negatively is upmost front and center whenever it fits the narrative Liana packages for others while discouraging them from interacting with me.
Liana Kerzner routinely demands she be given generous affordances while quietly denying the same to others. It’s a significant and long standing pattern.
“1) Everyone’s dignity matters. Explaining myself should not unduly compromise the dignity of others. “Everyone” includes my dignity.
2) A lack of integrity, even in an otherwise good person, cannot be rewarded.
3) Annoyance alone is not sufficient grounds to act.”
Here, on October 8, 2020 (weird, it’s October again; as she’d quip, “notice the pattern?”), she states clearly that her explaining herself should not unduly compromise the dignity of others.
Then what the hell was that cancellation video where she goes into detail that which she spends a good deal of time saying isn’t hers to tell and that she won’t? I argue, firmly, that no one needed to know any of that. Her relationship with her team member, my husband, broke down. My relationship with her, and especially my encounter with a completely removed person, being Jessica Routhier (Poppy Diabolique), had nothing to do with her project.
Liana Kerzner has a significant historical pattern of inconsistent application of stated values, which constitute a huge integrity problem.
“… The zeitgeist is that social interactions are strictly moderated by some sort of referee, and that direct confrontation is considered “rude” or “mean”. [sic] So whatever my personal opinions are, I can’t force people to solve problems in the way I prefer.”
Being near Liana’s age, I go by the her ethic. I think social interactions without moderation are most effective, and avoid any sort of referee as much as possible, stubbornly so. I am not conflict averse, as I hope has been demonstrated over the last year. But here, we have some issues despite agreeance in principal:
Liana Kerzner refused to address anything I had to say with any directness for a year or more, and has now attempted to aggressively ‘force’ a lawyer into the situation. I have no interest in mitigating this with a third party, particularly one that has insulted me and my intelligence with such malignant ferocity. And that’s because I have no interest in arbitrating this situation at all. It’s too late for that as far as I’m concerned.
On October 8, 2020, Liana states that she “can’t force people to sovle problems in the way she] prefer[s],” that indirect refereed confrontation is undesirable, and that direct confrontation is unreasonably seen as “mean.” Since October 4, 2024, Liana has reinforced the opposite of these sentiments, asserting that all of them are true after all, at least, when it comes to her.
For many reasons like this, I did not expect this outcome. I wasn’t told by Liana who she was, despite telling her who I was. She acknowledged this early on, citing it as a “lesson” of some kind. And I didn’t know who she was not because I wasn’t presented with a whole person, which, would make me foolish, but because I was presented with an inaccurate and incomplete version of that person.
“I am constantly astounded by the human capacity to screw over someone else to save one’s own sense of identity. I have had my trust, and even negotiated agreements, violated by the most unpredictable of people, over things I considered quite minor. It’s just human nature to be shaky ethically when you don’t have a firm sense of who you are, and we know that in gaming communities, a lot of people have very shaky identities. I am, therefore, highly sensitive to the potential that I could let someone get close enough to stab me in the back. Sometimes totally unintentionally.”
Liana often turns to overreach, extensively, and insinuate that highly disturbing psychological complexes lie in the hearts of everyone who treats her badly in her eyes. This is especially concerning for a highly visible mental health advocate. The reality is, she has no knowledge of what drives anyone to do anything, just non-educated guesses. My personality disorder is often characterized by a lack of identity or an unstable sense of self. I do not suffer from this one symptom very often, and maintain a highly defined sense of identity by virtue of keeping extremely rigid boundaries between me and others’ psychology. It’s why I keep extremely clear and rigid boundaries, which I had to enforce for myself in my last exchange with Kerzner for this very purpose.
This has not prevented her from extensively juxtaposing that symptom next to, or outright as part of, amalgamated and coded references to me that her sizeable ‘inner’ Discord audience quietly pick up on. Her Discord demonstrably fails to remain private, as evidenced by my knowledge alone, gleaned only from concerned others and not direct participation. All pretenses otherwise have proven themselves farcical and further insults to my intelligence, in my opinion. ↩︎ - I cannot be held responsible for the immoral and illegal activities of another person that I have no ability to influence or control. Again, I do not fill in for the moral shortcomings of, this time, my abusers. No one should. In my opinion, everyone should immediately stop doing this. The moral burden rests on those who fail to fulfill their responsibilities, no one else. It is an incredibly unjust and burdensome expectation to place on victims and defendants and shouldn’t be tolerated in our society as opposed to encouraged. I cannot make up for other people’s crimes I had nothing to do with. ↩︎
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- From Small Cumfurts Episode 1: I want to take a small second to remind people of something that every professional communicator with an ounce of journalistic integrity already knows: someone telling you how something is to them, on a very personal level, and that’s how you understand the situation to be, doesn’t absolve you of responsibility when you broadcast it to others as fact.
It also doesn’t automatically make it appropriate to use it as an explanation allegedly grounded in facts for something serious when there’s no valid reason anyone needs to know about it.
This is because 1) you don’t know it for a fact and it needs verifying, and, 2) especially if it’s highly personal and not shared with everyone, there’s a high bar that everyone should employ to whether this information, which isn’t yours to tell as fact, should even be broadcast.
This is very important, because, when a professional communicator acts in total disregard of these two things there isn’t a fix it button. It can’t be ‘fixed’ retroactively unless the injured party agrees to forgive and move on.
Once someone decides to make something irrelevant public, and, adding injury to insult, it’s factually incorrect, they’ve made themselves, and others directly supporting their actions, vulnerable to further information being published in a justified defense.
Because people (theoretically) have freedom of speech, at least, in the United States where I live, it is of the utmost paramount to consider these matters the first time around, not in an ineffectual apology later, if one appears at all.
Arguing about what’s “allowed” after what shouldn’t have been “allowed” is out there is pointless if the individual that believes they’ve been wronged doesn’t care about the professional communicator’s, or their supporter’s, non-legal moral opinions.
And it’s even more so if those beliefs are not enforceable by law. If they believe the professional, and their supporters after the fact, injured them in their decision to broadcast, what rational motivation would they ever have to care about the offender’s moral opinions?
This is not an aggressive offense. This is just a fact of how things happen. Like I said, professional communicators should know this, and so, I think that people reading this should be aware of it too.
At no point did Maus, or anyone physically present in my life who would know, truly believe I was a danger to myself or guilt-tripping anyone (because, I don’t do that). It’s very easy for people to think they really know people’s situations in grave detail these days after only reading about it from a distance, through the story a participant tells them in text, or the stories told later.
A cult following has sprung up around Marvin Heemeyer, the man who bulldozed down parts of my town one day, in places as far away as Russia, where one woman insists she knows everything about Granby, including all its people, history, attitudes, and practices, on an individual level, because she has read everything about it (including Patrick Brower’s book, who is also a friend of my mother’s) and has watched every YouTube video on it.
Probably twice.
It does not matter to her if the literal son of one of the men in the photograph of a famous newspaper clipping, often circulated amongst members of these groups, says otherwise, speaking from their personal experience living there from birth.
Marina will insist she really knows whilst turning once again to gaze upon the shrine of portraits against her back wall.
What’s more accurate is that I was frustrated and felt unseen or looked over by others, maybe even taken for granted a bit, and I just wanted support of some kind that I felt like I wasn’t getting, so I clearly communicated my needs like adults are supposed to do, or so I’ve been told.
Here’s what Marina has to say to my mother on Facebook:
She constantly says she knows everything there is to know, the real truth, more than anyone, more than local residents like me. That last part’s actually not that uncommon even on the Front Range. I have people ask me, in all insinuation, if I was aware what happend in the town hall meeti…
My late father is in the photo below, if you want the actual answer to that question:
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