I’m always frustrated by individuals who claim that it isn’t in them to deliberately cause harm (to someone): it’s not part of their personality, they would never do that, they’re not capable, it’s against their nature, or it doesn’t exist within them.
If you’re a human, this is profoundly false.
Every human being is capable of deliberately causing harm given the right input: circumstances, feelings, justifications, thoughts, beliefs, etc. We choose not to deliberately cause harm (that’s the deliberate part) because it repulses us, disappoints us, we don’t believe in it, etc.
The key here is that it is a choice. It’s always a choice. Always. It’s profound when people consistently choose not to do it for whatever reason they have, perhaps their entire life. That’s profound, and that profundity is stripped away when you’re ‘incapable’ of choosing to do the ‘right’ thing.
And, you are capable of deliberately hurting people. Stop it. You are. The sooner you admit it to yourself, the sooner you can have true moral accountability and recognize your choices, because it is a choice. It’s always a choice.
For those still on the fence I present some interesting juxtapositions you might want to ponder:
You’re not capable of murdering someone, but, you are capable of shooting someone in self-defense?
You’re not capable of deliberate harm, but, you are capable of doing things, intentional or not, that clearly ‘harms’ someone and then never owning it, but instead ending the relationship on that note because they’re ‘toxic’?
Is it possible you’re incapable of deliberate harm because that would mean that sometimes the damage you might cause wasn’t an accident, and you can’t be the victim of various circumstances that forced that accident to happen?
Really think about it. Is it better if it’s always accidental because that means you’re a good person by ‘nature’ even though there aren’t ‘good’ and ‘bad’ people? Or is it better that you made a choice and can admit a mistake, whether the damage you caused was intentional or not?
I’m ‘that guy.’ Everything’s a choice. Everything you do while fully conscious is a choice. You don’t ‘have’ to do anything, even live. Some of us have been known to lie down and starve ourselves to death.
On a side note: I used to think this of myself a couple decades ago. I thought I couldn’t hurt anyone and that was at once both a weakness and some kind of moral strength, but it wasn’t. It was just avoidance of the reality that I must stand behind my choices and be responsible for them.
