I was looking for this one, and I finally found it again. Here is a poem I wrote. Date is last year, but it’s a bit fuzzy at the moment. It’ll clarify in time.
The Rage of the Ever Gentle Beast
By Asher Wolfstein
I can dream of the Holistic Warden
The destruction of the Vatican
A society of furry progenetic bliss
Among an empire of hypocrisy and shit
And a cold holographic loving base
Unseen on the dark side of the moon
But all of this
Will never be and yet
Someday it'll all end
The light extinguishes anyway
Like it ever was
At the least, for me
I'll let it out
In a last tortured sigh
A body racked with the damage
And a mind beyond reproach
Disturbed on that slavery
Of experience's affliction
The agony of the beautiful I
All it's indistinct extremities
I have always loved you
Through the traumatic reclusion
And I will always love you
Even when you're not around
The animals blow steam at night
Out in the still badly lit field
To the exclusion of the rest
There will be only then
The ever-present asteroid
Sings its overtures of annihilation
In the fiery lake our sublimation
The admired above look below
And as, they always say no
But they mean yes, it's in the eyes
And you'll never actually know
Yet, the meat processors
Under their hand
Will continue to grind
I have always loved you,
But couldn't defy your reticence
I will always love you,
Even when you're not here
I'm in the house you built
But I remain in
All the lines in between
On the farther side of everyone
In flat parallel orbit beyond
My solicitude a vulnerable nightshade
A tender and poignant liability
Is a relentless trenchancy
Perforating with heartache
And breaking the proprieties of ego
I must turn away despirited
From the demons in my view
Lest the forlorn be my demolition
In these conditions, no one
Can grasp the fall of the wind
Nor the malignance of the bitter ends
Scant finales miss
By the skin of my teeth
Total desolation
And now I know
The Other of the Other
Is a strange beast
I have always loved you
Before I ever knew who you were
And I will always love you
Even when you've left us all
Machines of ever loving grace
Butcher the beasts of ever gentle rage
To open a deli of carnage
In a grocery of emotional compulsion
A produce section of attention
The courtesies of dopamine peddlers
In the void of reflections
The consumerism of righteousness
And the altruistic civility of
Safety, dignity, and inclusion
I have seen the flames on the horizon
My whole life approaching
In the skyline trees a wall of smoke
A burning glow of unfavorable charms
And sometimes I need your words
I wish for your kicks against
Your dinner-table laughs at my resistances
Because I'm almost you
But I can never quite make it out
I have always loved you
Standing apart from the world
And I will always love you
No matter the distillations
The spirits of expiration
Are of no importance to me
We are the champions
Of all that is as it is
Life unedited and devoid of pretense
A constant existence unrevealed
A long-song life behind our eyes
Here on the inside
Outside so far away
I gaze upon the aggregation again
Everything animals of intimacy
And I am of one, enervated
I look down, and, your skeletal frame
In my arms, the tears tear
They lacerate having everything
Of which I never did
All that's left is the riflescope
The target of a devastating love
Of that which appears as it is
Not what it wants to be
I try to ply my kindness in vain
It is too severe
It cannot be accomodated
They cannot face the horror
You haphazardly evinced
Now a cursed appetency
I have always loved you
And all that could've been
And I will always love you
Don't ever forget
My thoughts and dreams
An endearment of sincere veracity
The facts of the matter
Is that, at least for me
Time will exhaust your precious gift
The only thing owned, my exquisite I
The moonbound Holistic Warden
Of mechanical deficiency incapable
As inevitable shortcomings of robots
Are wont to do
Of making me one of them
Even me, what I want to be
Regardless of what I always was
No mysteries of the unknown left
I've already come to know
The quintessence of me
And it solved nothing
The whole will run out
All the others I hurt in my efforts
To just love them and be loved in return
As they were in sickness or health
In unforgivable cruelty
In comprehensions of excitement
Moments of caress and ecstasy
Everywhere I apologize
For all the pain and all the hurt
I'm unable to do anything about
I couldn't entirely be there
I'm too far away
But I have always loved you
I'm the better for it
And I will always love you
In all the places I've been
Then it will end
Essence drains past
The fitting impersonal sterility
Of the stark contrasting drain grate
A collection of courage and securities
Of joyful miseries and quality time
I sink into the vastness of my mind
Into the comforting darkness
Where I don't have to suffer
The perceptions of others upon me
No more non-existent wars
My fleshy tube, calm as it must appear
Rattles, and my yearning escapes my
Spontaneously parted lips
Finally
My love reviled and stigmatized
For all to see my disturbance
The unabating imperilment
An exiguity of honesty
Except you
I have always loved you,
Beyond the horizons of knowledge
The irrational seas
The stars of injudicious wisdom
Always looking down
I love you
Within the inner soothes of tenebrosity
Alone and apart from everything
And I will always love you
In accountability foreverwhere
With no impunity, unencumbered by guilt
By infallible penetration
And revealing demonstration
In pregnable rage towards
The conspiracy of the real
Its full fidelity
Then they will all come
Like before
And look for me someday
They'll find the truth
An answer so banal it's humorous
The mundanity of evil
Always laid among themselves
But, remaining forever inconsistent
They'll place it in my grave
Alongside my costumed carcass
In loving memory and grace
Here lies a dangerous affection
A plague of terror upon us
A profound illness to not let in
It will rend everything to ruins
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust
Let this serve as a warning as you must
But you'll know better
You always understand it all
The rage of the unrelenting beast
Its victims of self-defeating fear
Malicious projection
And depraved immorality
In pursuit of nothing but what
They can only ever wish to be
Against that which I've always been
The boundless unremittent rage
Of the ever gentle beast
For good and all come what may
In the perdurable shadow
Pray keep on