Source: at://did:plc:v2j2g5pdghrwazhbw6gvxtdp/app.bsky.feed.post/3l6vlnjkuls24
When I ventured forth after graduating from group therapy in Boulder in 2001, I didn't do much.
Haha. That's a good one.
Actually, I took all my pills (Effexor) and then drove to the CU campus. On the way, I demolished a book section in a grocery store and stole a beer while underage. …
2024-10-19 23:01:38.850 / 3l6vlnjkuls24
… I just stuck it in my pocket and walked right past the security guard. I laughed in my car, drinking and driving, as I passed a sign that said not to drink and drive. …
2024-10-19 23:02:56.402 / 3l6vlptdsiy2y
… Once I got to campus, I drove my used Pontiac Grand Am over the little walkway bridge and right into the center of the 'quad' where Cockerell Hall's entrance was. I walked in and asked for access from the shocked faces of my used-to-be dorm mate one door down, which they gave me! …
2024-10-19 23:03:16.950 / 3l6vlqgvxu32f
… Then, they called the campus police. I walked to my previous dorm room and said "Hello!" to Colin Pierce (my previous roommate), who was, unsurprisingly, high as a fucking kite.
I knocked on my brother-in-law's door but was told to go away. …
2024-10-19 23:03:48.879 / 3l6vlrfe6k72k
… I read the comments on his door whiteboard calling him gay, chuckled, and then went upstairs to the girl's halls. There, I offered my beer to a couple of girls in the hallway. I told them I stole it "just for you." …
2024-10-19 23:04:38.396 / 3l6vlsul6gk2w
… Suddenly, my adopted brother's girlfriend Olivia came out and confronted me, super concerned. I offered her the beer when I suddenly saw a peace officer appearing at the end of the hallway.
I put the beer down and bolted, pulling off matrix moves as I flew down the stairs. …
2024-10-19 23:05:03.614 / 3l6vltmmxak2w
… I scrambled to my car and put it in reverse. System of a Down's Chop Suey! blasted. The peace officer slipped on the ice (I could easily run on ice because of where I came from) and cut his hand, and then I almost backed over him while he threw his baton at my back window. …
2024-10-19 23:05:31.468 / 3l6vluh6ucd2f
… I careened across campus because, well, there were no actual streets. Instead of fumbling my tires down sets of stairs next to the stadium (where I had called my mother often on the payphone when I was attending) and getting stuck in a hole, I found my way to Euclid Avenue. …
2024-10-19 23:05:58.637 / 3l6vlvb3zbj2q
… Being a psychotic moron, I turned on to Euclid, slowed down, acted 'normal,' and thought, "Nobody will notice me now."
Of course, it was 3:30 AM, they did (I now know I should've ditched the car immediately), and I was full-blown arrested. …
2024-10-19 23:06:19.726 / 3l6vlvv7dlb2k
… I was charged with Endangering A Peace Officer, Obstruction of Justice, and Illegal Activity On Public Property. While the officer was driving me to the police station this time. Handcuffed in the back, I pondered, "Do I let my heart explode in temporary holding? Or should I say something?" …
2024-10-19 23:06:39.252 / 3l6vlwhtgag2n
… Life choices, am I right?
I announced that I had overdosed severely on Effexor, so he made a U-turn in those round-about things all over and took me to the hospital. …
2024-10-19 23:07:10.786 / 3l6vlxfvppw2u
… At the hospital, while handcuffed to the hospital bed (first time of several to come), one of the nurses told me he was the father of one of my friends from back home.
The nurse took my pulse and told me my resting pulse was approximately 180 – 200 bpm. Not so good. Mouth was dry as fuck. …
2024-10-19 23:07:37.522 / 3l6vly7fedb2k
… Then, I had to drink liquid charcoal for the first time. I'm a pro! Too bad they stopped doing that. I gagged at first and had black shit all over me. Lying in the hospital bed, covered with black shit, my older brother (who I'd been living with) came in and told me, essentially, that …
2024-10-19 23:08:31.018 / 3l6vlzsgftw2b
… he loved me, was disappointed, I was delusional, needed to let things go, and frustrated, that if I was intent on killing myself to at least "get it right next time." It was highly supportive. …
2024-10-19 23:08:58.562 / 3l6vm2monq325
… After I returned home from the Boulder Behavioral Science Center, I had to meet the lawyer in my small town, and she said, after I had lost my medical leave of absence from the university, that I could plead not guilty, stressing my mental health condition for my actions. …
2024-10-19 23:09:17.891 / 3l6vm374p4l2r
… I said that was okay; I'd plead guilty while asking for leniency due to mental health. She was shocked. I told her what my father had told me: "It's your responsibility to keep yourself out of getting into a state where you act like an irrational fool and can't 'control' yourself. …
2024-10-19 23:09:44.509 / 3l6vm3yiefa2c
… You know you have a condition or, at least, that others don't accept your behaviors when you get like that, so now you must take care of it and consider what happens when you choose not to fulfill your responsibility." …
2024-10-19 23:10:00.515 / 3l6vm4hr2pb2p
… Guilt is not a big thing in my family.
I pleaded guilty, got a deferral, and did community service at the High School I attended. My record became clean once again, and I had to pay the remaining tuition to CU for my first-semester classes. …
2024-10-19 23:10:45.218 / 3l6vm5sevlu2r
… All of which I was forced to get an F in, torpedoing my quite high GPA.
I never returned to college, thank God.
I'm a non-working 5x-10x programmer whose last job was standing on a street corner in a bad store-bought fursuit, holding a sign for a dog grooming and sitting business. …
2024-10-19 23:11:02.319 / 3l6vm6cozo42c
… It was a dream job. On that note, I was voted "most likely to succeed" in my class, and I think I fucking nailed it!
Being an adult is hard, but taking responsibility for your conditions and behaviors, no matter what they may be, is always worth it. …
2024-10-19 23:11:39.097 / 3l6vm7fresx2c
… Nobody else is inherently responsible for my mental health, fulfilling my needs, making sure I feel valuable, or keeping me from killing myself, and they have never been since then, not even my brother or father (clearly). …
2024-10-19 23:12:11.798 / 3l6vmaexmzf2m
… It's tough for my father to be responsible for me now, though, since he starved himself to death.
It helps when, essentially, you stop fucking around and just, you know, figure it out like an adult, even if it takes 20 years. …
2024-10-19 23:12:29.780 / 3l6vmaw4bvg2p
… Oh, also, if you file any court document about someone else, like a police report, the person you're talking about will most likely see it. The accused have rights, after all. I saw everyone's reports on me and how scared they were that the 'dorm shooter' was roaming the hallways. …
2024-10-19 23:13:02.227 / 3l6vmbv25ez2k
I was never going to shoot anyone, but hey, that's what happens when you piss off the wrong person, right?
2024-10-19 23:13:07.529 / 3l6vmc23x742c
ATProto root record: 3l6vlnjkuls24