Can you guess what my favorite movie was when I was 7 (or 8, apparently)?
Well, Miss Remembering should know, but I’m not going to presume over the authority here… since making the most obvious inference imaginable immediately turns into some weird misogynistic rant, by her!
Instead, I’m going to try an amateur stab at the elite mean-girl art of crawling into the dusty belfries of my haters and see if I can generate some batshit misunderstandings of my own. I mean, I know there’s no way I could ever understand what goes on in the upper room, where she see’s all that is through her rose… yellow window, seeing as how she tried so hard to understand the chaos that are my chasms, and, she couldn’t.
I mean, I swear, my life is so inexplicable that the last time I drew a conclusion from observable reality, complete with a PowerPoint presentation of specific examples, it was transformed by the forbidden power of sapphic alchemy into transphobia and I was thoroughly, utterly, cancelled.
That’s when I recorded a YouTube video titled To Cancel You is Wellness Wednesday: Fears Trying Online Abuse, or Not, They’re Cancellation To Cancel and of So?…
Oh wait, no, it was Wellness Fears Wednesday: So To Cancel Abuse You’re Trying Online Cancellation? To or Not They Cancel You.
Dammit, fall of cabbages! *pjpjhghgghhjjjjbgjhjhg* okay, *hoooo*, it was To Cancel Wellness Wednesday or Not: So They’re Fears of You (Online Abuse Cancellation You Cancel).
… Holy shit, what’s wrong with me, Wednesday? Wellness keeps trying to cancel the answer! Jesus! No! Not You, get back in the closet! It was Wellness Wednesday Mistakes It’s Own Cancellation – So You’re Trying To Cancel The Fears That Cancel or Not, or Already Did, Abusive, to Yourself.
PLEASE TRY AGAIN LATER! Fears of Wednesday Wellness Cancel The You That‘s Trying To Cancel Online Abuse or Not or Cancel Again, You Already Are.
I think I’ve lost my fucking mind… okay, focus, To Cancel You is Wednesday Wellness: Fears Trying To Online Abuse The Not Or The Cancel of You, So They’re You, Canceling.
…
Oh, shit!
I forgot to get out of the fucking belfry.
And so, I hesitantly discuss my own private life, for a brief moment, with the caution of a fully grown man handling unstable chemicals, hoping that when she later retells it to others, her memory doesn’t arrive at the scene already drunk. Like this fine specimen here:
A boy who’s heads in the clouds, the say.
But, I know, for myself, I have to set strict boundaries because people need to understand that I have to keep my feet on the ground!
Miss Remembering probably doesn’t remember when I told her the answer to our World of Wunk Daily Trivia Question above, but I wouldn’t be too surprised since it’s most likely Miss Remembering misremembers it as the burnt emo tional audit of April… 2019…
Asher Wolfstein
2019-04-19T16:17:35
ID 97362 Type message
My favorite movie when I was seven or eight was Stanley Kubrick's The Shining, which my family let me watch on my own repeatedly, because it reminded me of my dad.
Liana Kerzner
2019-04-19T16:18:07
ID 97363 Type message
Which part reminded you of your dad?
Asher Wolfstein
2019-04-19T16:18:09
ID 97364 Type message
Brave Little Toaster though… disturbed me greatly.
Liana Kerzner
2019-04-19T16:18:19
ID 97365 Type message
Oh Brave Little Toaster is fucked up
Asher Wolfstein
2019-04-19T16:18:21
ID 97366 Type message
Well, Jack Nicholson's character of course!
Liana Kerzner
2019-04-19T16:18:28
ID 97367 Type message
Like those fucking veggie tots
Asher Wolfstein
2019-04-19T16:18:31
ID 97368 Type message
LOL
Liana Kerzner
2019-04-19T16:18:36
ID 97369 Type message
Fuck those things! 😂
Liana Kerzner
ID 97370 Type message
2019-04-19T16:18:48
Hmm. Specifically the Shining?
Asher Wolfstein
2019-04-19T16:18:51
ID 97371 Type message
Yeah
Liana Kerzner
2019-04-19T16:19:01
ID 97372 Type message
*more burning smell *
That’s right! It was Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining!
Here it is:
Ah, yes, exactly how I remember it.
Anyways, I just wrote this little aside to say that, it’s been a while since I really took care of myself, like really, really, took care of myself, if you know what I mean.
In that spirit I’m going to being start a new series titled, Get Ready To Clean My Obsessed Stalker Hoarding Apartment With Me!
In this new series, I’m hoping to show you the inside story, as I *really* know it that is, After Dying of Existential Overanalysis, I Was Reborn as an Early-Mid-Century Gay Posteriori-Modernist Furry, but the Kingdom Keeps Misremembering Me and Calling It Lore!? otherwise known as ADOEOIWRAAEMCGPMFBTKKMMACIL… or *phpghhghgbhgbbggjb* for short.
Maybe, this time, we’ll get past my colon, since I’m drinking more fiber again.
Anyways, what elsewhere and everything but.